Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Selfish??

deleted_user
deleted_user
So he works ALOT! He also enjoys going out with his mates, he feels that he deserves it becuae he is woring so hard for me and our unborn child. So why do I feel I am being cheated of time with him. He seems to think that us being to gether at night sleepng and a few minutes before work and sometimes after work when he s tired and resting is enough..
And I being selfish to want him more?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No you are not - ask him the question, would he be working the same, and going out the same if he was single? - he probably would I suspect. My OH says this, that he is doing all these long hours at work etc for us, but before we met and when he was single, he still worked the same - it is in his nature.
deleted_user
deleted_user
.

Selfish or suffering in silence ?

Ask him to spend more time with you and the reasons why you want him too.

...
deleted_user
deleted_user
A lot of guys just don't realize how important spending time together is to women. He may think that by working so hard and long, he's giving you everything you need and taking good care of you-- without realizing that you would be happier if he took a bit more time off and took care of you emotionally. This is especially true since you're pregnant; pregnant women need a lot of care and support (which guys unfortunately tend to give by earning a paycheck..).
Just don't lose sight of the fact that he probably really is trying his best for you, in his own way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No. I went through the same thing a couple of months ago re: working and surfing vs time spent in togetherness.

I had to explain to him how i felt that this was the last little spat of time that was just us, that i was scared it was running out so fast and that i wanted to squeez every last drop out of it that i coould.

At first, befor i explained all this and was just winging at him (which i can have a tendency to do) he was defensive and upsett that i wasn't appreciating all his "hard work" But when i explained my position with more heart he understood where i was comming from and was able to see it from my view (which he just genuinely didn't see before)

You are not being selfish - i think it is a perfectly normal reaction - you need as much love and attention as you can get at this time anyway.

Good luck with your pregnancy hun, and just try to really explain your feelings rather then venting in frustration if you can.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No, he is being selfish.

Talk to him about what you want.
deleted_user
deleted_user
.

Communicate, compromise, and co-operate.

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