
Healthy Relationships Support Group
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You have to go into hospital for an operation, etc, does your partner take you there, and be there when you come round? Even if he goes away during it to look after the children or do other stuff.
I had an email from a friend today who said that while having treatment, her partner was there the whole time and held her hand.
Made me think, I've never had this.
Two occasions stick out for me, when I bled after getting pregnant with my 2nd child, I went for a scan with my then toddler, on public transport not knowing if I was going to be told I had lost our baby. He went to work.
When I got sterilised 4 years ago, I told him the date 6 weeks before so he could take 2 days off to take me to hospital, pick me up and look after our youngest (then 2) and pick eldest up from school, and care for the kids in between.
He took the day off for my op, but couldn't take the following day off, left it too late and said he had to work.
I spent the day feeling like i had been kicked in the stomach by a horse, while looking after a toddler.
Is this normal in a relationship?
I am probably going to have to have an op soon, almost certainly a scan and treatment. He has seen how much i am suffering each month with my periods and said I needed to get it sorted out, the only reason I have left things this long?, because I know I would still have to look after two young children while recovering.
But he has now said we will work round it. That I need something done and he will take time off.
All of how I felt about how other partners are there when their partners have ops, treatment etc, came out when we had our big row after my thing with the other man came out.
I even went on the train to have a quite serious op once.
He says he can't take time off work, but when he has advance warning about things, surely that is different?
I am worried about all this I am going to have to do with my periods to try and get it sorted out, I am going to need his help, but am worried it will be the same as before.
I had an email from a friend today who said that while having treatment, her partner was there the whole time and held her hand.
Made me think, I've never had this.
Two occasions stick out for me, when I bled after getting pregnant with my 2nd child, I went for a scan with my then toddler, on public transport not knowing if I was going to be told I had lost our baby. He went to work.
When I got sterilised 4 years ago, I told him the date 6 weeks before so he could take 2 days off to take me to hospital, pick me up and look after our youngest (then 2) and pick eldest up from school, and care for the kids in between.
He took the day off for my op, but couldn't take the following day off, left it too late and said he had to work.
I spent the day feeling like i had been kicked in the stomach by a horse, while looking after a toddler.
Is this normal in a relationship?
I am probably going to have to have an op soon, almost certainly a scan and treatment. He has seen how much i am suffering each month with my periods and said I needed to get it sorted out, the only reason I have left things this long?, because I know I would still have to look after two young children while recovering.
But he has now said we will work round it. That I need something done and he will take time off.
All of how I felt about how other partners are there when their partners have ops, treatment etc, came out when we had our big row after my thing with the other man came out.
I even went on the train to have a quite serious op once.
He says he can't take time off work, but when he has advance warning about things, surely that is different?
I am worried about all this I am going to have to do with my periods to try and get it sorted out, I am going to need his help, but am worried it will be the same as before.
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My best friend was at my side more than he was.
Then again maybe he just does not get it.
My Mom battled cancer and chemo for two years bafore her death. I spent 100 plus nights in hospital with her.my brother came twice.
It would be easy to start to draw conclusions.
But at the end of the day he loved her as much but just couldnt deal with it.
I hope you can get him there fro you(call his boss if u know him) but if not..
Know that is his insecurity.. not a problem with you.
Stay positive and focus you emotions on the healing..JJ
Every situation is different and every male is different; they are a species of their own...lol Seriously though, men do not think like woman, most just don't understand your needs, some cant handle their wives pain ect. Maybe you need to talk to your husband about your feelings..the; I need you there ones.
If you would like to discuss the issue with your period Iam sure I can help. you can email me on that one.
I think you should tell him something about not being there for you at those important times.
Break his legs and get him in the next bed !
:-)
Old dogs ?
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Good Luck with that - sounds a barking idealogy !
:-)
Make the most of your time in Hospital by thinking up some online Games.
:-)
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