
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

MARIENPAIN
Short story:
Been with my husband for 7 married 1 in December. It has been rocky the whole time. He is a recovering alcoholic, I have fibromyalgia and many other health problems. My son is a handful. But our main problem is my husband won't friggin go to work. He calls in weeks at a time, then will go back for a few weeks then start the cycle all over. We are $$ SCREWED!! I am working, even while feeling really bad. I am so angry and want to leave but I do still care about him, but I feel he is draging me down. We are going to counceling but he doesn't work on anything, just does the same shit that had gotten us there. When I voice it to him he gets angry and a fight starts. Most days I just want free of him, but I love my animals and so does he, they are our children together and I am not set $ to walk. So how do I make it work or at least liveable? I am miserable and don't want to be anymore!! Help, anyone? TY
Been with my husband for 7 married 1 in December. It has been rocky the whole time. He is a recovering alcoholic, I have fibromyalgia and many other health problems. My son is a handful. But our main problem is my husband won't friggin go to work. He calls in weeks at a time, then will go back for a few weeks then start the cycle all over. We are $$ SCREWED!! I am working, even while feeling really bad. I am so angry and want to leave but I do still care about him, but I feel he is draging me down. We are going to counceling but he doesn't work on anything, just does the same shit that had gotten us there. When I voice it to him he gets angry and a fight starts. Most days I just want free of him, but I love my animals and so does he, they are our children together and I am not set $ to walk. So how do I make it work or at least liveable? I am miserable and don't want to be anymore!! Help, anyone? TY
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Maybe to get your head clear you could sit down and do a list of all the positive things about him and the relationship and a list of all the negative things - and you know what they say "if the bad outways the good, get to stepin" You should probably match your lists to what your needs and want are in a relationship, what your values are and also what are deal breakers or soul destroyers for you. That way you can really see in persepective how good the good is and vice versa. I mean if u have one good - like 'he loves me unconditionally' and three bads like, 'he pick his nose, leaves dirty socks around and chews his toe nails' it wont really weigh up in importance. So relating to what most important to you is prob a good way to judge. This formula really helped me to put into perspective my relationship when as all i could see were negatives yet i still love. It gave me a clear picture to base a decision on. Once you have decided something then often you can see a clearer plan of action to take one way or another but while you are confused everything seems muddy and you cant see the forest for the trees. Good luck.
Keep communicating.
Focus on the little things that you both can work out and grow together by realising your love & potential ((( together )))
Good luck.
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