
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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I have been in a realtionship with a gentleman for over 6 months. Our agreement was not to get too close....he is newly divorced and is trying to get over his feelings for his ex. I accept that. But over the past month we have become closer and spending more time together. He has become more open and loving with me. I found out last weekend that he still sees me as "friends with benefits" from a statement that he sent a friend. Then he admits to me that there is much more there between us.
Why do I want to keep trying to make something out of nothing?
Why do I want to keep trying to make something out of nothing?
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I am giving myself about a month to decide.
The apathy is a bit painful some days.
Don't get me wrong, I have tried to have "no strings attached" FWB relationships and they just make me feel cheap.
In my circumstance had he said that to me, I would have let him go as a FWB he would just be a friend at that point. My purpose was to fill the sexual need, but be safe doing it. However, when I started to have feelings for him I told him so much and told him I needed to take a break. Because it's true you CAN start to have feelings for the other person. My FWB turned into a very loving relationship that I currently have with him now. He assured me he was also having feelings and did not want to take the break, not because he'd be without sex, but because he wanted to go to the next level with me. He was ready to chance the pain that sometimes comes with love and relationships. So I reluctantly went to the next level and really have never regretted that decision.
But I do see where some might be confused as to how people can be in a FWB situation, and for those people it isn't something that would work for them. For others it does work. Much like an open marraige. I can't imagine being in an open marraige because I would be jealous. But I do know it works for others.
Hope that helps explain it..