It's human nature to want to love and be loved, however, if you did indeed set "rules" to the relationship you should try to follow them. It sounds like he is trying to follow them even though there may be feelings. You can't force someone to accept feelings they may have for you. Maybe in his heart he knows he isn't ready for another serious relationship.

My SO and I started out as friends with bens and when I called a break he wouldn't let me. But we were both ready for a stronger more serious relationship. We were both ready to take the chance on getting hurt. If you aren't both in the same place mentally when it comes to a relationship there just isn't a lot you can do other then be patient. It might pay off and it might not, but you need to be careful so as to not get seriously heartbroken. Good luck.

I'm in a similar relationship. Either we relax and enjoy the stage we are in or we need to find other gentleman who are ready for love.

I am giving myself about a month to decide.

The apathy is a bit painful some days.

Some folks don't want to tell their friends how vunerable they are so maybe this is the case with your friend. Since he is just fresh out of a divorce, in your shoes I'd be very careful about drawing boundaries.

Please explain this to me, cuz I just don't get it. How can you be physically intimate with someone without getting emotionally intimate? Are some people able to compartmentalize their lives that much?

Don't get me wrong, I have tried to have "no strings attached" FWB relationships and they just make me feel cheap.

You just never say that "L" word or discuss the future. We are exclusive though and act loving in every other way. I don't feel cheap I feel like I'm his hobby.

The FWB is something new in our society. I'm 59 and I don't remember ever hearing this term when I was growing up.

Knowing what you are able to handle at any given moment is maturity. Some people have a physical need but are not ready for a relationship. To outsiders it looks like a relationship; in that you are one on one with the other person, but the difference is if you find yourself interested in another person you aren't scared of hurting the FWB friend. You simply say hey I think I'm interested in someone else. Then the two of you decide if you still want to be FWB or not.

In my circumstance had he said that to me, I would have let him go as a FWB he would just be a friend at that point. My purpose was to fill the sexual need, but be safe doing it. However, when I started to have feelings for him I told him so much and told him I needed to take a break. Because it's true you CAN start to have feelings for the other person. My FWB turned into a very loving relationship that I currently have with him now. He assured me he was also having feelings and did not want to take the break, not because he'd be without sex, but because he wanted to go to the next level with me. He was ready to chance the pain that sometimes comes with love and relationships. So I reluctantly went to the next level and really have never regretted that decision.

But I do see where some might be confused as to how people can be in a FWB situation, and for those people it isn't something that would work for them. For others it does work. Much like an open marraige. I can't imagine being in an open marraige because I would be jealous. But I do know it works for others.

Hope that helps explain it..

Just the fact he made that statement to someone that you were a "friend with benefits." Does that mean that you are just a sperm dumping ground? What does that mean? I know what it means and so do you. Unless you are looking for a lot of "heartache"...I would move on. Love is when the action matches the words. It sounds like "he is just not into you" and how many other "friends with benefits"does he have that you doen't even know about. The friendship thing...I have never seen it work, Prticularly if you have had sex with him and you are now "in love." Save yourself a lot of headache and find someone else who appreciates you and is not willing to use you as a temporary fix...L

I was just thinking about this. How weird? I have decided that I would no longer accept a relationship like that. I had the same thing not too long ago. It's taken a long time to worth through the feeling I had almost immediately. After a year and a half I found out he still saw me as the friend w/ benies. I have made the choice to not settle for less than everything. Unfortunately was women we can't seem to open our legs without opening our hearts. Now that I know this I'm chosing to take time out and work on healing myself. I never knew I could feel ok with being abstenent and without a man or sex in my life. I've done a good job and am pretty proud of myself. It's taken a long time to get to this point but I'm here with still more work to go.

friends with benefits hmm.... yeah that is confusing .. Seems like you are confused? You could outright tell him that you are getting confused and to as why, also that you do not like it. Or just tell him that you think you are going too fast and want to establish a long term serious relationship with him or the right person. He might do you a favor and run?

" Man's Rejection Is God's Protection" I found that one out the hard way. When I think of what I could have given away to someone who was looking for just a "free ride" I realize how lucky I am. If he up and "runs"...you fun "faster" the other way.

I want to thank everyone again for their comments on my toxic FWB relationship. This morning he finally understands how I feel. I care about him and wish him all the best this world has to offer. He still wants to see me but that is yet to be seen. I've put the ball in his court and if it comes back to me then it was meant to be.

Are you certain he's actually divorced? Because if not, that could be why he's leaving you sort of "open." Maybe you provided the comfort and sex he needed without the commitment. If you love him be very careful.