Hey,
Me and my mum are like besties as well when we are in town only people who know us know that we are mother and daughter..
Or people think that we are sisters lol
She is always there when I need her and knows exactly what to sayt and do. SHe knows when I am covering up something of how I am feeling and will leave it until I go to her about it. She has been there for me so much in the past week which has been such a hard time. I live with my bf and we are just down the road from her and she came runnong to me pregnant and all knowing that there aws somthing wrong with one of my animals/

I havn't tlked to my father in over two years now. I used to love him to bits when I was younger and even after my parent split up. But when he got into abother relationship she was jealous of me and my brothers and made him choose and he chose her and her kids. He would come and see us when they had had a fight or if there was someting going on in his family to try and make out that he was father of the year.. He has only just started recetly talking to his mum again after leaing his wife to live overseas..
Since beik g pregnant I am wanting to know him againbut I don't think it would be fair to risk my son the hirt that I have felt from him

Reen x

It can echo how you handle your own relationships but if you know about all of this you make a point to not let it happen. I have been working on some of these issues in my marriage. I was raised by my step dad and my mother. My mother and I had a great relationship. I got along great with my step dad also. My mom held back some of her true loving feelings while I was young because of trying to handle a yours mine and ours family. I have the same in mine now. When I married my step dad gave me away. My real dad was at the wedding and when we danced I told him that my step dad had the right to give me away because he was there for me growing up. I then asked my dad why he never came around as much. He TOLD me he did not want to confuse us girls (4 of us) and he thought it was best to just fade away and let us live our lives with our mom and step dad. I accepted his answer knowing he was selfish and just did not want the resposiblities. I got through life and always seemed to still respect that he was my dad and he was the one missing out on the lives of his girls and now all his grandchildren. My step dad passed away in 94 and my mom passed away three years later. They were the ones that gave me approval and praise for any of my accomplishments. My husband does not do that ever. I was told that because of the abandonment of my dad as a child I am needing the approval that I never got from him as a child. It is part of what is missing in my marriage. There are other things that I have been finding out that make me realize some of my other problems of things of my past. My first marriage, my lonely childhood, and how my current husband was raised. It all echo's how we handle what we are doing now. I am working hard to change the pattern and make things better. The more you are aware of the better you can handle it all. That is my opinion.

My mother and I are best friends... I still go to her with my problems and she comes to me with hers... We make time to have our morning chat by tele each morning,, her drinking her coffee and me drinking my diet coke and to top that off,, I am still my daddy's little girl, even at this age! LOL... So, I have no clue why I can't have a healthy relationship,,, can't blame my parents,,they have been married over 50 years!
I love this post by the way!

My mum and I were at odds for most of my life. She told me when I was very small, either 3 or 4 that she should have strangled me at birth. She wanted a boy and got a girl. Things got worse when my gran, her mum died when I was about 8 and then even worse at 11 when she told me to leave and I did. I had to go back of course, the police got involved. At 16 she threw me out for good and we really didn't talk until after I got married at 22. When my farther died 3 years later she fell completly apart and we came to some sort of even keel without ever talking about it. She died very suddenly last march and it was only by chance that I was in the UK at the time. My beloved sister in law was dying from lung CA and I was over to say goodby. After she died I suddenly found myself lost. I think we made better friends than mother and daughter but I miss her. Those of you who have fantastic relationships with your mothers cherish them because when she is gone you have no one to ask anymore. No one who remembers the family jokes and stories. It is harder than I ever imagined, especially since I spent most of my childhood wishing her dead.
All that being said I don't think you have to echo your parents. I never have.. or at least not to date. I have never beaten a child or used any punishment harsher than time out. I have never pitted one child against another or told one they should be dead and were not wanted. I didn't fight with my spouse daily about stupid things and I adore my mother in law where as both of my parents were openly hostile to thiers. I think we make a choice about who we are even though our past shapes us we can use that for good.

solongago, I am glad you were able to break the cycle!!! It means so much to your children!
I do cherish my mother!

My mum has bipolar, so the relationship is not brilliant, because when she goes manic she hates me.
My dad lives abroad, I've not seen him for 3 years, so not much on that front either.

.

My parents passed away a number of years ago, and I have been misbehaving ever since.

.

my mother lives acros the country, i talk with her on the phone....

don't have a relationship with my father, but he lies across the country too...

parents separated and divorced when i was young...

my goal is to have a healthy relationship with my husband and have healthy relationships with my sons..

My mother is a very judgmental person but I love her, and we are close although we do argue frequently.
My dad just divorced us when he divorced my mom, the past several months he has tried to be there but is going too far trying to jump in where he left off. I'm not sure either of these is the healthiest of relationships.
My first and only marriage I married a man just like my father. I am divorced now. I had to readjust my way of thinking to get into a healthy relationship.
Luckily I have become a healthier person and this has lead to being in a healthy relationship.

My father was abusive. mentaly and physically we are starting to be friends now years later.

my mother is opinionated but loves me we talk daily

My stepfather was the light in my life and taught me about acceptance and love and some really handy lessons in sarcasm. unfortunately he passed away this january from lung cancer.