Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Opinions please?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have never posted in this group yet (because I haven't had much to say), but I am hoping I can receive some advice:
I am finishing up my third year at my university and will be going home next week for the summer. I am in a serious relationship with a wonderful person who I am deeply in love with and the feelings are mutual. Or so I think. Yesterday he became extremely upset with me because I brought up the fact that I have been turned down for sex 4 times in a row (4 days in a row). I was not trying to start an arguement, I was just trying to say that the ball is in his court now (he is always saying how he wants me to initiate sex more, and that is why I said something yesterday).
We went out last night- but in separate company b/c I was hanging out with my girl friends and he was with his friends. He was acting funny. I'm pretty sure it was because I was as well- I was kind of cold towards him after he yelled at me.
I know we need to talk, but I am at a loss of words right now. I talked to a close unbiased party and she told me that he was scared about the summer because he has never been in a serious long distance relationship before (can I add that it will only be 3 months and I am coming up to visit him in the middle of the summer?). I would just like ask you all how I can help him. I don't think he will break up with me (and neither does the other party), but I'm not positive. We love each other and I just want to help him feel at ease about this summer. I am scared as well, but I know we can make this work.
Thanks
kidsintowe03
kidsintowe03
sounds to me like you guys need to have a long talk about what is going on. i think your "adviser" would be correct that he may be getting nervous about what the summer will bring being away from each other. is there anyway that he could come to visit you during that time too?? maybe knowing he is going to see you more than just the once in 3 months will help ease his mind?
red40rose
red40rose
that is where communication plays the vital part in this play, sounds like you need to sit down and have a bit talk before you go, and make some goals together for the summer break, and when you meet up agiain, things you may want to do together, either way fate will run its course..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Turn the situation around. How would you feel if he said women where hitting on him all the time? That in no way says you are making the first step in wanting him sexually. That would spark nothing but jealousy. Do you want to think about how many women come on to him? Would that be a turn on for you? It is better not to mention such things unless one of the men are being rude, pushy and you would like him to step in.

A better approach would be wait for him when he comes over and be setting there sexy in lingerie. Or just simply let him know you want him by kissing him and start undressing him. Dont be afraid to be on the aggressive side and get wild and excited about it. Maybe not rip his silk Italian shirt but and ole Tee maybeThe ideas are unlimited to take the initiation that you want him and to take the first step,

Also think about his concerns now during the periods you two are separated. What is going to be in his mind? You getting hit on everyday for sex or that you want him so much you are all over him and cant wait to see him again. I can see why the man was upset.

Before you go give him the security he needs to know you will be waiting for him and cant wait to be back with him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
A year or two from now, this will all be but a faint memory.

My hormones are all over the place. Often times my boyfriend will just tell me know, he's tired. Those are times when I write it on the calendar so when I'm too tired and he complains we can refer to the times he was tired.

I wouldn't give this too much thought. You're young. He won't be your last.

Just my opinion.

Have a wonderful day! Don't forget to smile.
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