He seems very controlling.
Why should you do his lunch, he is a grown man, can he not do it all by himself?
My OH was controlling, to the point that I felt i couldn't do anything and if i didn't do housework etc, he would make comments to my freinds.
He has now realsied what a twat he was being - after I met someone else - and is a different person most of the time.

Think it would do you good to stand up to him a bit more, he is using you as a doormat.

thanks for replying. That`s exactly how I feel, that he is trying to control me. He has minor OCD, so I can understand that he needs things done a certain way, but some stuff is just him controlling me.

When i try to talk to him about it though, he always ends up making ME apologize and making me feel as though I am the one that needs to work on herself and be a better wife. I love him dearly, but this constant stress is not helping my depression or anxiety problems.

Even friends, my family and even his family see what he is doing, although they just see it as ''He likes things done his way in his timeframe and exactly the same way he would do it''.

emotional abuse. plain and simple.

Despite his ocd, he should still treat you with the respect you deserve.

As for the apologising, my OH has a way of twisting things that make it look that I am the one at fault, he has a great knack for it.

Next time you talk to him and he twists things, don't apologise - tell him how you feel and walk away.

walking on eggshells waiting for the blow up is not a way to live.
you said you battle depression. do you have a counselor or does he? have you spoken to her about what your life is like?
i agree with the other posters. 1--he is a grown man and 2--some of this sounds too over controlling and bordering on abuse.
come one over to the codependency board and read some posts there if ya feel like it.
blessings to you.

I am sorry but it sounds like abuse to me I am afraid. If you don't have a therapist already my advice would be to reach out and get one. Couples counseling would be good but you need to take care of you first. All the best.

I wonder if he's always acted like this (before you married him) or if this is a new attitude. I would suspect that he's always been like this and you kinda knew that. If that's the case, then ask yourself what you thought was going to change him. Your love for each other? Your utter devotion to his every need? Or maybe you were just hoping against hope. In any case, it's a matter of deciding what you will and will not live with. If you can tolerate his behavior, then you'll have to make the adjustments, if not, then what are the alternatives? First and foremost, you have to be honest with yourself. If he's cheated on you online, then how long before it becomes flesh and blood instead of virtual. Since you have children, your obligation is to them instead of you or him for that matter. Do you feel they will benefit from seeing this kind of relationship between you and him? Is this the life you invisioned for them and yourself? Again, it sounds like it may be time to come to terms with your own expectations instead of just his. I can safely say that 2 people who love each other show it by making sacrifices for each other and it's the sacrifices that you can't hold in your hands that are the most meaningful. You've given yourself to him, now it's his turn, isn't it? Get to it hun! Take your life and live it. If he doesn't want to be along for the ride, that's his decision. Your children need you to make their decisions. So make them!

this is a form of abuse you are his wife not his slave...i would seek couselling and if that doesn't help i would seriously consider leaving him...you dont have to live like this it is not fair to you or your child.