You know patience and support is what she needs. Remind her every time that you are different from those people that abused her. Abused people needs so much understanding and patience. Treat her the best way you can and just make her feel herself. Answer to her emotional needs the most. Be very supportive and caring. I know this is such a big task and a difficult one but just do it for love. Sooner or later, she'll recover. Avoid conflicts because it will just make things worse. Lastly, i think its best for your girlfriend to have a shrink. Accompany her to one, so you'll know what part to play in her recovery. Hope this helps!

I think it's great that you are such a wonderful person and have recognized the problems that she has had, and is going through. The only way to "fix" this though is that she needs to recognize them as well and get some professional help. It's not just for your relationship, but for any relationship that she ever wants to maintain in a healthy way.

There is always give and take in any relationship, especially when two people become committed to one another, but a relationship won't last if somone is always the giver and the other person is always the taker, and I'm not saying that anyone is doing anything intentional.

It sounds like you two have been in this relationship long enough that she should feel secure enough with you and recognize what you have been trying to do, but it needs some outside help in order for it to continue to grow.

Maybe you two could go to the park or somewhere and you could tell her that you love her very much and you want the relationship to grow, but you feel like you're limited in knowing what she wants and needs and maybe you two could see a counselor to give you some pointers. This might open a door for her without seeming to put any blame on what has happened to her in the past and she may feel relieved. You know that you're going to have to do it with kid gloves, and I wish the best of luck to you. She's a very lucky lady for having someone that is as caring as you, and I hope that it works out so she can start meeting you half way in this relationship. The possibilities are endless, but it takes two to make it priceless.

Hello,
I would also like to comend you on being a good guy...
It sounds to me like she has alot of work to do before she can have a healthy relationship..She will never trust unless she get the right help...You can not "fix" her in any way..she has to do all the hard work on her own..I feel for her...But for you, you need to ask yourself if your getting what YOU need from this relationship..After 2 yrs you should know this by now and do what is best for you..
Thank you again for being on of the good guys,
Donna

I see you joined the sexual abuse sight. Searching with others who have had the same experience will help you uderstand her better especially if it is hard for here to open up. You need to be there to support here and let her know you are not like those that abused her. I am sure she has trust issues because of this. Your being concerned and wanting understand is a first and big step in supporting her. Good luck.

It can only help your relationship that you are sensitive to her situation. I Think all the above ideas are good. It may take a while for her to have total trust in you, since she's been hurt so much in her past. Good Luck.

Your girlfriend almost undoubtedly needs professional help. One rarely, if ever, just 'gets over' not having Ones parents want one and be there for one, suffer abuse, emotional, physical, and sexual without some intensive professional treatment.
And one is hardly ever drawn to be in a relationship with someone who has all that to contend with and who has, from the beginning, put up walls unless they, themself, have some issues that might benefit from some one on one counseling.
Good luck!!! You should both seek professional help. It almost certainly can't hurt and might likely help improve the quality of your relationship!!

Just try being her good friend. The lovey dovey boyfriend girlfriend stuff can come later when she's healed.

Perhaps she should be in some type of therapy.

I've been "hurt" by two people in the course of my life. Let's leave it at that. Patience is key. Is she seeing someone for help coping with her problems that would inevitably come up from being abused? That's important. What might help is a r*pe support group or a couples therapist. I can only try to put myself in the shoes of my boyfriend, it must be hard to date a girl who has been "hurt". Just treat her one step better than how you would like to be treated and you should be in the clear. I would assume it would get hard doing that every once in a while but support her and try to be patient. I hit walls a lot, I am here if you need insight into the mind of someone who has been "hurt" just message me, I don't really feel comfortable getting into it for all to read.