Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
i am a 41 yr old latin male, my partner is 40 and white . we have been in and out of relationships before. we recently got together and have been seeing each other for about 14 months now. i was just getting out of a 8 yr relationship when we met, so it was not him that caused the breakup. he just happened to be there at the end. he has been in and out of dating, if you want to call it that. i mean like some were a couple of months, then some were a couple of years and so on...........my questions is since we both tend to learn good and pick-up good & bad habits along the way, now that we are together, we have all this baggage and issues combines between us. we are trying to sort thru stuff and i am trying to talk things out. how do we find a common greound for our life and love in all this baggage. he has his and i have mine. i am easy to talk to and he has a hard time letting go and openning up to me. i get fustrated just trying to talk to him because if he does not want to talk about it, he says ok, let talk about something else now! and it's over.........
WHAT CAN I DO TO TALK IT OUT AND GET BEYOND ALL THIS DRAMA, I LOVE HIM BUT sometimes FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW HIM AT all???? :(
WHAT CAN I DO TO TALK IT OUT AND GET BEYOND ALL THIS DRAMA, I LOVE HIM BUT sometimes FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW HIM AT all???? :(
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
It sounds as if you want him to "open up" but you can't do that by just asking him. I must be missing something because it sounds like you're trying to get closer to him by getting him to confide past intimate details. It may be that he doesn't trust you with those details.
I think it may be wrong to assume everyone has baggage from the past that they need to share. Some people are perfectly content with their past, even the bad parts. They've gotten over it. There's really no reason to dwell on it if it's not causing a problem right now.
Other than that, it sounds like you fear your relationship isn't as strong as you would like. And it sounds as if you may be the one creating the drama. And you may not know him at all.
i have been with my guy for over 15 years and he still surprises me with things i don't know about him....so maybe just let things happen when they want to happen and enjoy the company of the man who loves you rather than pondering on what his past flames have been like!
Although having said that it is human nature to pry...lol!
he is a good man and i hope i am giving him what he needs.