I know there is a pregnancy group but I almost felt like my story might cause some expectant mothers unnecessary anxiety, so I apologize that this thread doesn't quite fit into healthy relationships.
I found out I was pregnant on Feb 28. We began trying in January and I was completely obsessed with becoming pregnant. I let it go and suddenly became pregnant after one night with my SO, it happened so quickly! I bought the test and drove away from the store telling myself I just wasted my money and that maybe my cycle was 30 days instead of 28. I have no idea about my cycle since I had the IUD for 8 years up until December. I took it and couldn't belive I was seeing that faint line pop up. I saw it though, I put my head down in my lap and thought "I'm pregnant, Oh my God, thank you, I'm pregnant."
My SO and I had a little argument earlier in the day so he took a little longer to get home which I already anticipated. I put the test in a gift bag with a Green Bay Packers onesie we had previously purchased for our next baby. He came home and I gave it to him and said, "I got you...A....baby!" It was so beautiful, it was an amazing feeling. Our other two children who we love so much weren't exactly planned and we were under 20 with both. It was a different experience. This felt so amazing.
Our first 2 appointments didn't go very well, the dr only did ultrasounds on my stomach instead of transvaginal ultrasounds so we were only able to see the sack. He referred us over to an early pregnancy clinic, now I think it's because he supected a molar pregnancy, but he never told us that.
I got an ultrasound my first visit with the new doctor, I was so excited to finally see my babys heartbeat. I did see it, but my hapiness was shortlived. The Doctor saw my uterus filled with cysts, he saw the sack was abnormally shaped, both signs of a molar pregnancy. I went straight to the lab and shortly after getting home from work that day, he called me and confirmed his suspisions. I was to go in that evening to terminante the pregnancy. I was there most of the night. At one point they took me in for another ultrasound. my bf was with me. We saw the heartbeat, it was the first time for my bf seeing it. It really was a terrible feeling. We saw our baby and the little flickers of life, and we were to end it at 2am. 2am came and the Doctors decided not to proceed, because they knew how desired the pregnancy was and because of the hearbeat. They couldn't say 100% that it was a molar pregnancy until the baby is removed and they do further studies, but they were 99% sure.
We ended up keeping the pregnancy another 3 weeks, and sadly went in one day and confirmed the pregnancy stopped growing. There was no longer a heartbeat.
Those three weeks were horrible. People asking how the pregnancy is going. Your body suffering the sypmtoms of pregnancy but you KNOW this isn't going to end well. I didn't care though, I kept hope and knew that as a mother I would suffer through anything for my baby. 3 weeks of emotional and physical pain was nothing, I was hoping to see something positive at our next appointment.
The only sense of relief I felt when the heartbeat did stop, was that it happened naturally, the way God intended. I didn't terminate my pregnancy. I would never want to terminate my pregnancy.
I had to have a D&C to have my uterus completely cleaned out. It's been a little over two weeks since the procedure. It's feels completely surreal. I can't belive all that happened to me and my family. I never thought I'd experiene a miscarriage, especially with my third child. I was just naive and ignorant regarding miscarriages.
Molar pregnancies can lead to cancer in rare cases, when that happens your HCG level doesn't drop back to zero after the procedure, or drops to zero then begins to rise up again, so for at least 6 months I need to get weekly blood draws to monitor my HCG levels. My body still thinks it's pregnant.
I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. Idk if I'll ever understand why this happend, but I am still grateul to God for my children, I'm grateful for our overall health, I'm grateful that he put this child in my life even if I never got to hold him or her. That is my third child. My next will be my fourth. I'll never act like this didn't happen or like this child didn't exist.
That is my third child.
We have been married 25 years, I have lived through his porn addiction, the countless lies, an affair, almost loosing our business of 23 years because of his depression and then immigrating across the world to start all over again, through all of the above I have stuck by his side! The older he gets the more insecure, difficult, moody, irritable and super sensitive. I find myself constantly...
It has been a long time since on this site but I have hit a rough spot and just need support just very hesitant. I guess baby step is the way to go.