I'm going to answer your question here. I'm not trying to joke about this situation at all. I'm not in this situation and don't plan to be. But I have thought about the dynamics before.

I think the problem is that there are two women and one man in your relationship. You need to cultivate and see about adding another woman into the family.

I don't really want to go into why. You need to think about this yourself.

Gee, I know NOTHING about the dynamics of poly relationships, but I don't see much hope for the problems that you and she are having unless she does some MAJOR changing, and from what you said in your journal, it doesn't sound like that's very likely to occur.
Have you expressed all the same things to her as you have in your journal? If she knows how unhappy and hurt you are, in large part because of how she treats you, and yet she doesn't seem to be willing to actually change some of her behavior, that speaks plenty of what kind of a person she is, and it isn't a very nice one!!! She sounds awfully selfish and uncaring.
I don't give a damn if you ARE much better at keeping house. Tell her it's only fair for her to do her part, even if it IS harder for her. The only way she's going to GET any better at it is by doing it.
It's very hard to leave a baby that you love as your own, but if this relationship is going to go nowhere good, then it's best for the baby if you leave before the baby forms too much of an attachment to you.
As to leaving the guy who makes your world go round, what do you think he thinks about your position in this household? Does he think that things are fair and equitable right now and, if not, what does he do to make the relationships more loving and workable.
The only one thing I do feel confident in saying is that if leaving is the right thing to do, then you are more in defeat by staying than by going.
And as to them clearly understanding why you are going, well, if they don't, that's all the more reason to leave.
It certainly doesn't sound like this particular poly relationship is working, not as things stand now. If they think things are fine now, while you feel as you do, then you are with the wrong two people.
As to where you go, well, that's certainly a toughie, if you have no friends or family to take you in. Since you're so good at being a housekeeper and nanny, perhaps you could find a job somewhere as a live in, doing that.
I'm glad you're in therapy right now and I hope that it is these issues that are being dealt with. Perhaps the therapist can help you identify any and all options as to where you might go to get free of this situation. I'm so sorry that you feel as though you are sinking fast!!!! I'm not surprised though, as it sounds like you are being used, and therefore, abused.
Good luck!!!! I certainly hope you find a way to happiness. This situation really does sound untenable!!!!
Take care!!!!

Can I bump myself??????

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#3

Course you can.

Can we watch ?

:-)

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OK, I read the Journal.

I really don't know what, if amy, the solution is BUT you are definitely not happy.

Or am I missing something in what you portray ?

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No, I am unhappy.
When everything is in place life feels blissful but if something gets off kilter it's almost unberable. I don't have the best history with relationships and at this point I don't trust my own judgement. I am worried that I made a mistake by leaving my husband at this point but then when I really think about it I haven't been happy for years so maybe it's just me and I am depressed. I have made a mess I know that.

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#6

Relationships are never easy ( oh F***, do I know) but don't blame yourself or a solution will be harder to find.

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