Healthy Relationships Support Group

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My husband and stress

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband stresses me out! He is always concerned about me, but I am a 36 year old grown woman. I try to talk with him about my issues, but he just doesn't seem to understand.

What do I do?
deleted_user
deleted_user
He doesn't understand.

...

I don't understand either. What are you trying to say?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Brian,, you are a card! LOL

Ithink she means that she appreciates that he worries about her,, but she is a grown woman and is basically looking for her own individuality!
Am I right Julia?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I figure if she can take the time to get me to understand, then she may figure out a way to get him to understand.

You do know that when somebody doesn't understand you, that you're not communicating well? It may not be their fault.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Maybe you could communicate to him the SPECIFIC behaviours he displays that are stressing you out and the SPECIFIC reasons why & then the SPECIFIC consequenses of how this affects your feelings about him & your relationship. - maybe if you are just saying to him "your worring about me stresses me out" he might not get it. He might deem his worying as loving and not appreciate why it should be so bothersome to you.
If he has a strong different view of how you should feel about the worrying ie: "he thinks you should feel loved" he wont register it, he will just want you to understand him - so you need to be firm about your actual feelings not just express frustration. ie: "I feel - smothered / patronized / disrespected / fathered ect...
Also try asking him why he worries - it might give you some insight on how to actually lessen the need arising in him to do so.
Just some thoughts - i'm no expert though, clearly!
Good luck.
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