i cant understand where you are coming from. my boyfriend has been all over me for 3 1/2 years, constantly telling and showing me how much he wants me and that all came to a halt when he started academy. we are lucky if we do it once a week and he never expresses wanting it anymore. it is hard for me because i am used to him being so blunt about it and now i don't hear him say anything at all. have you tried to talk to him about it?

HA funny. i wish i could talk to him. with your guy its probly just him focusing on school or academy (whatever that is) and so its just not on his mind as much. and i did talk to him this morning when this happend. he said, when i'm being a "bitch" i'm not atractive. and he doesnt even want to touch me. and when things are "ok" (as ok as they can be) he doesnt act to interested in me. i try to be all wife like and hug on him and play with his hair. i even apalogized for not caring about him enough and he just asked why i freak out when i get stressed. he just isnt the same person.

www.youarenotcrazy.com
i suggest you check it out, i might be off base... but some of the things he is doing is indicative of abuse.

what do you mean by abuse? whats he doing that you would consider it abuse?

it is the mindgames, only being affectionate at specific times, saying those derogatory comments that he is... one is called withholding affection(red flag), and the other is making comments about other women to cause the other person to develop a complex. both are big red flags

i can relate to a degree. my boyfriend has lost about 40 pounds and now has a 6 pack. he has always been into weight lifting and i though thought he was pretty fit before. now it seems like he wants me to lose weight too. he told me i was getting big and his mom told him i was getting chunky. it was hard to hear. just last week we were talking about going on a vacation and he asked how i would feel standing next to him if he was running around with his shirt off. i was stunned. he told me he didnt mean it in any particular way but how else am i supposed to interpret it. he has told me he expects me to be fit now that he is but that he does love me as i am. it is really hard to deal with sometimes. that is probably the most he has said about my weight in 3 1/2 years but those few comments are very hard to deal with. i never once said anything to him even at his biggest because i loved him regardless. i am becoming content with myself. yes i have lost about 20 pounds, but i care more about being happy with myself and i keep trying to tell myself that if he doesn't like it then he isnt worth it.

Hi girl - hate to agree that it is verbally abusive. I know because I have been verbally abused. It's awful and it makes you feel inferior and worthless. I don't tolerate that crap at all and we're working on his communication skills. It's work but have seen great progress. You need to take a hard look at where you are and if you really want to be there. You're so young, tons of time to get all settled down. Find out who you are first. Just my thoughts....hugs.

thanks for the advice. i need to sleep and think alot. hope to talk to you all soon. ~Sarina*