Healthy Relationships Support Group

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my friend-really long

deleted_user
deleted_user
hey all
happy saturday.. i need your advice on my friend..

heres some back ground :

shes 23.. we grew up together ( known her all my life).

has a 5 year old son

she introduced my boyfriend and I.

i dont know how to say this nicely but she meets alot of guys and talks to her exes alot but ITS ONLY FOR SEX.. she was in a serious relationship and once she was finished.. it was guy after guy.. my boyfriend and I just ignore it and we will meet one guy and the next week its a diff guy.. idk.. maybe she just loves sex and what not..
i know alot of people LOVE TO HAVE SEX, but does that mean to jump from one guy to another? she would have had 18 kids by now( no joke)

lets fast forward. she met this awesome guy at school and myspace.. they saw each other at school.. HES SO PERFECT FOR HER.. hes calm, likes to party, but also laid back, and wants to take things slowly.. hes a dork but in a nice way and totally great for her.. she needs someone like him.. he likes her son, hes really good to her etc..
my boyfriend and I have met him and hes so nice and i like being around him.. comes from a good family, has great values etc.

WELL.. he asked her out and she was drunk and said YES.. well then the other nite she tells me they arent dating because she wants to be friends right now w him and wants to see where its going..i was like well hes a nice guy and what not..

i told my boyfriend and he thinks its because her ex boyfriend is in jail and hes prob getting out early and wants to sleep w him and maybe get back w him.. (they write each other and stuff) hes an A#!@#!@@@ and i hate him..

what should i do? i cant control her life by all means but ugh.. she finally met a nice guy and shes blinded
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know it's hard but you have to realize that your friend is going to do what she feels she wants to do. I would keep talking to her, maybe ask her why she likes the ex in jail so much - get her to see he's bad.....but love is a complicated thing. if she feels she loves him and he loves her, hard to make a difference in how she thinks. sometimes people do things because they feel they don't deserve the good guy....don't deserve to be treated good - but stick by her - point out the good and bad in the guys she's seeing - ask her why she does what she does - try to stay calm, like your interested....keep neutral and you will get more information from her and maybe that would help to understand and better help her.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thank u.. i like and agree with you said.. of course iam going to stick by her and keep talking to her (even if she doesnt like it)

you are totally right about how some people dont deserve the good guy.. idk .. she attracts bad guys haha..
deleted_user
deleted_user
It hurts to watch our friends make bad decisions but there is nothing we can do to stop them. I hope that if she continues to watch how happy you are in a healthy relationship with your boyfriend that she will want something long term as well.

My best friend makes terrible men decisions too. She won't stop returning to an abusive man. Arrrgh. If we push too hard then they will still make the bad decisions but not tell us what is going on. I'd rather be quiet with my opinions and be there for her when she falls.
koolman
koolman
You can't control her, only yourself, and, although you can't make her be faithful to this nice guy (if she wants to be a whore and die of AIDS, it's her business), you CAN object to her bringing the mean jailbird ex or any of the other "bad boys" over.

I think she's an excitement junkie and will only get bored with the nice guy and cheat on him, personally. She's hooked on sexual excitement; a leopard can't unlearn its spots.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks for your replies.. well I went on facebook and noticed she and the nice guy were now official LOL.. who knows.. we went out yesterday and she was like "i dont know whats going to happen when john gets out of jail" iam like he can go find a place to live.

we will see.. but you guys are right.. i cant control her and i think.. all she knows is bad men
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