Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
At the boyfriend's house I must follow his rules 100%. He won't let me clean anything or do anything for him. He revealed the Sargeant/Private scenario to me over the weekend. I nearly walked out on him but he told me, "If you don't like it then don't call." That stopped me cold from walking out the door and I sat down. When we are apart I always want him back so bad. It is a rare thing but we truly love each other. He had a stroke @ age 27 and was raised on a farm and both his parents were marines so it's not like he decided to be an ass himself. I just really love him and feel I'll do anything to make it work. I don't feel following his stupid rules is such a big deal. He does have anger, depression and controlling issues but he never calls me names and never physical. Is all this worth it in the name of love?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
What has been put into their minds will always be there!
I have many good friends who are Devil Dogs, my X is a devil dog. I have a good understanding of devil dogs!
As well as a big soft spot for them. (not cos of my X but cos of my good friends)
I think what you're missing is that you feel like there may be a lack of intimacy there. And you might want to realize that this may only be a perception on your part. There may be something in his past that causes him to not allow himself to rely on others for help. But he may have resolved this to his satisfaction too.
My suggestion is to quit thinking of it as "his rules". You may really like them if you accept them as part of him. His way may make him feel more secure. And everyone has the right to feel secure. He's not trying to punish you.
Go at it from a different angle and see if you can get the intimacy you want by other paths.
Your life, and your choice, and everybody has their good and bad points, and their "little ways". But if it turns into abuse and bullying, or putting you down, or dominating you all the time, or not allowing you to be you, then that is where it is too much and needs to be recognised as such.