
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Keeping Healthy Boundaries With a Friend

deleted_user
I'm a 52 year old single female who works in a professional field. I have two friends, one male, also single. A relationship has sprung up between the two friends.
I am not comfortable socializing with these two friends (who live a few hours from me). Normally, with the distance between our homes, I could avoid direct socail obligations and just be a good but occasional phone and email friend. However, I live near a vacation destination, and they have plans to spend time locally this summer.
Will it seem rude if I don't socialize with them? The man involved was a friend of mine before this relationship, and he betrayed some confidences, and I prefer not to have any further dealings with him. However, I am afraid that to even hint at this will make me seem jealous. I'd just rather say no....how can I do this in a tactful but honest way?
I am not comfortable socializing with these two friends (who live a few hours from me). Normally, with the distance between our homes, I could avoid direct socail obligations and just be a good but occasional phone and email friend. However, I live near a vacation destination, and they have plans to spend time locally this summer.
Will it seem rude if I don't socialize with them? The man involved was a friend of mine before this relationship, and he betrayed some confidences, and I prefer not to have any further dealings with him. However, I am afraid that to even hint at this will make me seem jealous. I'd just rather say no....how can I do this in a tactful but honest way?

deleted_user
Only hang out with the two friends when they are together. Let them know that you don't want to come in between the two because you respect their relationship and would feel extremely awkward to hang out with just one of them alone. Call them both up and say I would love to go to a diner with you two -and talk about it there so that they will not pipe up too much on the drama because they will not want to raise their voice.
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