Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE
HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
4. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?"
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
5. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
6. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER
WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
7. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS
TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
8. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
9. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO
"GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
10. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED
ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
11. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED,
CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
12. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
13. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS?
ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
14. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL,
IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
15. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
16. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME,
DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
17. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
18. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS:
THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
19. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
20. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS
ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A 'CIVIL' WAR?
22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS,
DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO,
WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT
FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?
26. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED
"HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?
27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON
IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE
HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
4. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?"
SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
5. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
6. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER
WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
7. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS
TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
8. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
9. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO
"GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
10. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED
ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
11. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED,
CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
12. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
13. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS?
ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
14. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL,
IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
15. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
16. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME,
DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
17. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
18. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS:
THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
19. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
20. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS
ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A 'CIVIL' WAR?
22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS,
DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO,
WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT
FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?
26. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED
"HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?
27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON
IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE
deleted_user
By the way these are not my thoughts
deleted_user
I like this, very good.
deleted_user
Very Steven Wright. Excellent!
deleted_user
I can relate to #1, except with me it was wine.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
