Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I've been in a relationship for three years
(January)and i haven't once been happy!! The guy that i am with is a nice guy for the most part but he's just not my type..When we met i was 19 and had just had a baby, in short i was VERY vulnerable. So we ended up starting a relationship and later on that year we moved in together and that's when i really found out what i was dealing with...He is a habitual liar,he is a carpenter but hardly works and he doesn't care about his appearance but is shocked and hurt when you call him on it..I really have grown to dislike him over the last couple of years. I have tried to break up with him on hundreds of occassions but he just starts crying and walking out. When he comes back around he acts like i never told him that i wasn't happy, it's not what i want etc..I don't really know what to do without having to go over board...
(January)and i haven't once been happy!! The guy that i am with is a nice guy for the most part but he's just not my type..When we met i was 19 and had just had a baby, in short i was VERY vulnerable. So we ended up starting a relationship and later on that year we moved in together and that's when i really found out what i was dealing with...He is a habitual liar,he is a carpenter but hardly works and he doesn't care about his appearance but is shocked and hurt when you call him on it..I really have grown to dislike him over the last couple of years. I have tried to break up with him on hundreds of occassions but he just starts crying and walking out. When he comes back around he acts like i never told him that i wasn't happy, it's not what i want etc..I don't really know what to do without having to go over board...
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I am positive you will flourish when you lift this weight from your shoulders,It will probably do him some good as well(I think your tolerance has become an enabler for his slackness)
Take your daughter shopping when it is done get some new clothes and get a fresh start.
Good luck JJ
Find a place for you and your daughter to live. Make arrangements to move. Set up support like day care or what ever you need to cope by yourself. Discuss this new way of life with your closest friends and family, BUT NOT with thew guy your leaving. Don't even drop a hint to him of your intentions.
When you are ready to go, have him leave for some reason or wait until he goes to work. Have your friends ready to swoop in and extricate you and your daughter from your old home and move to the new place. Leave him a letter saying that this is for the best and you are sorry things didn't work out. Be kind, but to the point and don't say anything that could be misconstrued. make it definite and final.
Make sure you take everything with you you want. NEVER GO BACK for any reason. He will need time to recover and move on. He should not know where you are and you should make this clear to anyone who helps you that also knows him.
Move on to your new life and don't look back. If you happen to see him or he tracks you down, don't encourage him or enter onto conversation with him. Tell him to leave or you will call the police and if he doesn't get the message, call the police and register a harassment complaint. Have them open a file on this problem and report any infraction. You must protect yourself if he turns out to be a loony.
I think he would get the message. You have told him enough times how unhappy you are and that should come back to his mind once he starts to think about things.
Remember, you are leaving him and he has no right to know what your plans are.
Make a clean break of it. Best for you both.
Christopher