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I posted this on another board, but I am sure I can get some good responses from here aswell, so thank you in advance.
I need some advice from anyone who is willing to give me some with an open mind. I know this is sort of not related to break ups, but I need the advice to ensure it might not go that way.
Quick back story on me for those who do not know.
Divorced happily, friends with the ex, life is good.
I was working abroad before earning great money, no issues in the world. I went to school had 6 months off with some vacation time and went back to work at home. I have a wonderful girlfriend who we have been seeing each other for a year near the end of this month.
So I have been planning to go back to work out of province, the time off and school emptied my account to much and I would like to revive it. I am a planner, I am accounting for the monies I need to make to cover the things I have planned, debt, new truck maybe another house ect. The rest is where ever it goes it goes. So in my planning I thought I would check up on engagement rings (No I do not plan on getting one anytime soon, but if I am going to be allotting money and the time does come up in the next year I wanted to make sure I would have that angle covered). I am in no hurry to get engaged or married, I am happy with this woman but there are hurdles we need to get by before I would ever take it to the next step.
So on Friday I went to work, then picked up my son at noon. We went shopping and I checked out prices on rings, just general what to expect pricing. Talked with the jeweler and she gave me a card with some details on rings, etc. I went home, emptied out my pockets on my dresser and threw my work clothes into the wash.
Not thinking, she came over and saw the card and asked me as I was going into the washroom what this card was about. I locked the door and took my sweet time hiding of course. When I came out, she was out of my room and I hide the card and nothing was said. Of course a women never forgets and she brought it up today. She was panicked, she saw the 6,000 dollar price tag and thought I had it in my pocket or had plans of doing something soon.
I tried to explain to her that I am not at that spot, neither is she, but that I am just making sure if it comes up in the next year while working that I am prepared. She of course is shocked and scared that I am planning this when I AM NOT. She went home tonight and is still a little scared.
So how do I calm her nerves for her to know that this was just bad luck and she need not worry about this happening for awhile. I told her we have hurdles to get over before I would be ready, I told her I would need to move in together before it ever happened and that neither of us are at that point even yet.
Please any advice or suggestions, the last thing I want her to do is think I am moving this fast and scare her the other way, I love her and can see in the future getting to that step, but now is not the time.
HELP!!!
I need some advice from anyone who is willing to give me some with an open mind. I know this is sort of not related to break ups, but I need the advice to ensure it might not go that way.
Quick back story on me for those who do not know.
Divorced happily, friends with the ex, life is good.
I was working abroad before earning great money, no issues in the world. I went to school had 6 months off with some vacation time and went back to work at home. I have a wonderful girlfriend who we have been seeing each other for a year near the end of this month.
So I have been planning to go back to work out of province, the time off and school emptied my account to much and I would like to revive it. I am a planner, I am accounting for the monies I need to make to cover the things I have planned, debt, new truck maybe another house ect. The rest is where ever it goes it goes. So in my planning I thought I would check up on engagement rings (No I do not plan on getting one anytime soon, but if I am going to be allotting money and the time does come up in the next year I wanted to make sure I would have that angle covered). I am in no hurry to get engaged or married, I am happy with this woman but there are hurdles we need to get by before I would ever take it to the next step.
So on Friday I went to work, then picked up my son at noon. We went shopping and I checked out prices on rings, just general what to expect pricing. Talked with the jeweler and she gave me a card with some details on rings, etc. I went home, emptied out my pockets on my dresser and threw my work clothes into the wash.
Not thinking, she came over and saw the card and asked me as I was going into the washroom what this card was about. I locked the door and took my sweet time hiding of course. When I came out, she was out of my room and I hide the card and nothing was said. Of course a women never forgets and she brought it up today. She was panicked, she saw the 6,000 dollar price tag and thought I had it in my pocket or had plans of doing something soon.
I tried to explain to her that I am not at that spot, neither is she, but that I am just making sure if it comes up in the next year while working that I am prepared. She of course is shocked and scared that I am planning this when I AM NOT. She went home tonight and is still a little scared.
So how do I calm her nerves for her to know that this was just bad luck and she need not worry about this happening for awhile. I told her we have hurdles to get over before I would be ready, I told her I would need to move in together before it ever happened and that neither of us are at that point even yet.
Please any advice or suggestions, the last thing I want her to do is think I am moving this fast and scare her the other way, I love her and can see in the future getting to that step, but now is not the time.
HELP!!!
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She needs to have faith and trust in the words you said and work out her fears no sense in getting worked up when there is nothing to be worked up about. I think after a bit of time passes she will calm down and see things more clearly. Hang in there:)