
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

deleted_user
THIS IS WHY IM SO SAD AND DEAD INSIDE :( So yeah a lot going on in my life right now, i have no solution or way out i feel depressed everyday all i want to do is cry and scream to see if someone cares, the reason why i feel like this is because my friance left me at the begining of the summer cuz i wouldnt have a baby before getting married so he decided that he was going to have some random girl have his baby, so he did he meet somebody i worked talked to her for like 2 weeks and then decided to get pregnat now it turns out that he calls me and wants to be with me and says that he loves and feels like he made a mistake and that i should be there for him, he calls me tells me he loves me but he says that he doesnt know if he wants to stay with me or not he feels like he has to be with her knowing that he doesnt love her just because of the baby, i cant stop thinking about him and what he has done to me, he has riun every hope and dream i ever had of becoming a mother and having a happy family, he wants to blame everything on me and for some stupid reason i keep thinking is my fault, but all i wanted was everything to be perfect you know, i find myself thinking about her and her baby i makes me so madand so sadat the same time because she is taking everything from me evrything i work so hard for and there she is happy as hell , i dont even think that she is having the baby just because she is ready to be a mother its just an excuse so he stays with her and it kills me i dedicated myself to him for 4 years of my life and now he says he doesnt know if he wants to be with his one night stand or me i find it so hard to take this is killing me eating me inside the tought that they will be happy expecting their child and im left with nothing i dont know what to do i want to say fuck it leave me alone but i cant for some reason i still think that there is a chance in hell of us being happy but then that tought of having her be part of our lives makes me go crazy i dont know what to do i feel so empty so betrayed Can a person that says that loves you so much and you are the world to them do something so fuck up and just say im sorry all humans make mistakes? what he did to me was brutal
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This woman didn't do anything to you. You are creating a story that she DID do something to you. And it's not true. She's got her own problems now and they aren't related to you in the slightest bit. You don't have anything to do with her. She doesn't have anything to do with you. Maybe you work together, but please don't be confused that your problems and her problems are in any way related - except for the guy.
And then there's you and the guy. Yeah, that's going to work isn't it? I'll tell you what, why don't you continue to make excuses for what he does? Why don't you continue to "love" him? Keep doing that for the next ten years. And then after you and the other woman have had a couple of more children each, you can divorce him.
Finally, what he did to you wasn't brutal. He didn't make a mistake. He did what he said and he even warned you. You are punishing yourself because you are making up reasons why you should stay or even get back with him.
It sounds to me like you are the one that is making the mistakes right now.
I agree to a point with Brian,,, however, I see the problem from lulu's point of view. It is hard to turn love off when you have spent that kind of time with someone.. I would not blame this nameless woman though... it was not her fault, it was his! Do not blame youself either,, and I agree, do not marry this joker! He is a jerk and did not even consider what he was doing to you or this other woman, as long as he got his way that is all that matters!
I wish you the best!
"Love is not a feeling, it's an ability".
I get that. So I think if you're making it a feeling, of course it's hard to "turn off". But I think when people are trying to change their feelings or turn them off, then they are confusing something else with real love.
I'm hoping you feel my love for you as a human being. I don't want you to suffer needlessly.
Marrying this guy would have ruined your life.(imagine when he realizes he does not want a wife in ten years)
It is hard to see but putting this LOSER behing you is the best thing to happen to you yet.
You gave dumbass 4 yrs of life. Give yourself a few years
Use time god has given you to build self esteem(exercise,charity work,career ect..) sucess is the best revenge
Take care of yourself JJ