Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I'm sure I will get scorned by some people but..here it goes. Okay so, just to backtrack, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 mos and we live together. After I moved in with him, I saw that he had major insecurity issues. He pretty much was always thinking I had bad intentions or was seeing somebody else. And of course I have never even thought of that because I love him very much. So, I finally got him to let go of that recently.
I'm not sure if it was b/c of his insecurity or my own but I've never distrusted him. NEVER. I've always felt like he was a genuine guy. Up until recently....I've just had a funny feeling about him for the past couple of weeks. Everything has been great between us but I couldn't help but think about this feeling that I have that I had started to not trust him. So, yes..sad to say..I went and made a fake myspace profile (we both have profiles of our own.) and just put some girls picture on there and was going to send him a friend request just to see if he would respond...yes I know. I should have NEVER done that. I regret it very much now. I've never stooped to that level before and i feel dirty for doing it. BUT I did it nonetheless...well, he denyed the request so I felt good about it. and just never really thought about it anymore. Well, last week sometime, I checked that profile and he had sent a message just asking do I know you. That's it. It pissed me off that he would even ask it..but like I said I was the one in the wrong for even making the stupid thing. It was dumb.. I shouldn't have done it. So I asked him about sending her the message and he pretty much just said that he thought she looked familiar and that he was kind of being a smartass by asking do I know you because as he says "she can clearly see I have a g/f". SOooo once again, I was going to just leave it alone b/c it made me feel like such an idiot for even thinking anything. Yesterday, I went on the profile to delete it and low and behold I had a new message..but this time, HE made a fake profile just to talk to this "girl" and this is what he wrote:
"whats up? Take a guess at who the mister E man is.
HINT: we have already talked a little but in a not so safe environment.
I don't know why but I feel like I need to know more about you."
I'm completely heartbroken by it and I don't know what to do. I've thought about it all night and all morning. Of course I don't want to tell him that it was me but then again I want to confront him about it. I just feel like an idiot for even doing this...but I did it and now this has happened and I don't know what to do. Please tell me what you would do...should I just delete the profile and pretend this never happened? Should I respond to his message? Should I confront him about it and end up looking like an idiot???? What should I do???
I'm not sure if it was b/c of his insecurity or my own but I've never distrusted him. NEVER. I've always felt like he was a genuine guy. Up until recently....I've just had a funny feeling about him for the past couple of weeks. Everything has been great between us but I couldn't help but think about this feeling that I have that I had started to not trust him. So, yes..sad to say..I went and made a fake myspace profile (we both have profiles of our own.) and just put some girls picture on there and was going to send him a friend request just to see if he would respond...yes I know. I should have NEVER done that. I regret it very much now. I've never stooped to that level before and i feel dirty for doing it. BUT I did it nonetheless...well, he denyed the request so I felt good about it. and just never really thought about it anymore. Well, last week sometime, I checked that profile and he had sent a message just asking do I know you. That's it. It pissed me off that he would even ask it..but like I said I was the one in the wrong for even making the stupid thing. It was dumb.. I shouldn't have done it. So I asked him about sending her the message and he pretty much just said that he thought she looked familiar and that he was kind of being a smartass by asking do I know you because as he says "she can clearly see I have a g/f". SOooo once again, I was going to just leave it alone b/c it made me feel like such an idiot for even thinking anything. Yesterday, I went on the profile to delete it and low and behold I had a new message..but this time, HE made a fake profile just to talk to this "girl" and this is what he wrote:
"whats up? Take a guess at who the mister E man is.
HINT: we have already talked a little but in a not so safe environment.
I don't know why but I feel like I need to know more about you."
I'm completely heartbroken by it and I don't know what to do. I've thought about it all night and all morning. Of course I don't want to tell him that it was me but then again I want to confront him about it. I just feel like an idiot for even doing this...but I did it and now this has happened and I don't know what to do. Please tell me what you would do...should I just delete the profile and pretend this never happened? Should I respond to his message? Should I confront him about it and end up looking like an idiot???? What should I do???
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
The reason i say that this relationship is primed for abuse... alright, let's take a look at the average abuser profile.
An abuser will try to force the feelings faster than would naturally happen. They literally manipulate a person to feel the emotions they want them to feel. They also LOOK FOR codependant people, someone that will move in with them after a short period of time, and after that person is attached ot the abuser... the abuser usually has jeolousy problems.
The reason there is jeolousy issues is because they don't see the victim as a person, but as a possession. They feel that they literally own, and can dictate every aspect of that persons life. they are smart enough to not come out and say that, but they manipulate to that very end.
And then, for a person that is insecure... what is healthy, is to talk to you about it and say, "I have an issue that I need to work on"... not make you bend over backwards to prove that you are doing the right thing.
In my opinion... there is only one hting you should do... get out of the house and dunp his ass. He sounds like a grade a bastard.
My regret is that I wish I would of kept my mouth shut and set it up to met him-then of course-IT WOULD OF BEEN ME!
I know I was evil-but.. if I wouldn't of found out then. I would of gotten deeper into the relationship and it would of happened with someone!!
You can both actually grow from this and become more trusting and much closer. Use this as an opportunity to promise to each other that you will never play games again. Then keep that promise.
Forgive yourself. Then forget about whatever he action he took. Look at how he deals with this particular situation. If you both do not heal this minor hiccup in your relationship and put it behind you, then it was never strong enough to really last.
Once again, this was stupid, but it's finished. Now clean it up and use it to make the relationship stronger and more incredible.
Im sorry this has happened to you- it sucks so much and that is why I HATE HATE HATE myspace- its all about hooking up...
PS You should try and be honest about the whole thing and get everything out- his mistakes and yours... but if you really dont want to confess to sneaking, you could say this "mystery girl" found out about you and sent you all the conversations your boyfriend has been having with her so you would know what kind of a guy he is...