Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
It's so unhealthy and I want out. There are times I love him and I wanna make it work but there are times I actually feel like I hate him. Which is unhealthy in itself. I feel like it's holding me back from a lot of happiness and I feel like I can only DREAM of a normal, healthy, happy relationship and that it will never actually happen for me. He makes me feel stupid, he calls me stupid, he talks down on me, he's selfish, cocky, insensitive, he doesn't listen to me and things just aren't the same anymore. When we argue things often get violent and it makes me miserable. There's no romance what so ever and there never has been but I think it's starting to get to me. We don't kiss much either. But I know he loves me and doesn't want me to leave and he says he'll do whatever it takes to change but he doesn't. I feel so alone and empty inside. I definitely don't feel in love anymore. I don't know why it's so hard for me to leave.
deleted_user
Could you try counseling? Do you think that might help? Do you think it is so hard to leave because you are depressed or because deep down you feel there might be some hope? Do you have somewhere to go or a plan on what to do if you do leave?
deleted_user
Sounds like my relationship except no violence,though I do feel like whacking him sometimes.As fot the bit where you said you dont kiss much.I get absolutely nothing at all.Ive got to the point where I dont think I could have a healthy relationship with anyone even if I did leave because Ive done things on my own so much,the other person would probably feel I wasnt giving them enough.
deleted_user
Wow this sounds so familiar to what I had before. It's hard to leave because you are comfortable with him but you know what you have to love yourself more than that and when someone gets your self esteem down so low it's hard to get it back up. If the love is gone it is hard to get it back and usually it just gets worst. I know it hard to be alone but you'll find peace and who you are again. I met my hubs and got so lucky. In 5 months I was happy. I cut the bad one loose and as time went on it got better. Nothing good will come into your life until you clean out the bad.
deleted_user
you deserve to be treated with respect.
MimiL
You are so young.....now is the time to figure this out really.....I was forever in relationships that were unhealthy now Im alone ...Im am not unhappy.....I hold on to that Im working on believeing that I can have something healthy...but its work .....but Im willing to do it because I know in my head I deserve it....at least I wont settle for a crappy relationship anymore....but its tough out there ..it starts with you....you deserve better know that.
MimiL
Oh and I spent alot of time on the he will change thing ...guess when they change...when you leave and you did all that time and work for someone else to benefit...trust me this I know.
deleted_user
WANNABEYBEY-Your daughter is beautiful. Your absolutely right about everything you said. What you said is exactly what Im going through! It's nice to hear from those who have/had similar struggles, so thank you. And congrats on your happy relationship.
deleted_user
I feel the same way as tho Happiness is a distant dream or just a thought only achieved my a select few, if you can find happiness I think you should try
deleted_user
Very sorry you are going through this:( ~~ I hope that one day soon you are saturated with an inner peace that you deserve:)
koolman
From the various posts on this board, you're not alone. Wish I had the answers.
koolman
I do know that the first step is to go ahead and dream: What WOULD make you happy? When you focus on the positive rather than the negative, it makes it easier to dump the negative and pursue the positive. But sometimes it seems like the positive simply doesn't exist, I know.
koolman
I'd like to add that abuse, verbal or physical, is uncalled for. Lisa and I got into a rather heated discussion about "why do people stay". I'll let her take over from here.
deleted_user
I have no idea I think I stay because I could not imagine anyone who could ever want me, after all I have been through. and I wonder if there even is true Happiness or Love out there. I have never experienced it.
lkc9528
Take a look at how things are now. Really decide if you can live like that or not. Because in 10 years it will only be the same if not worse. You are right he does "need" you but is that enough to tolerate the miserable feelings you get from time to time....good luck!
deleted_user
Haha! You're 20... You're over it. Go have fun.
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