For the last 14 years I have been friends with a woman from a 12 step program. She asked me to be her sponsor and over the years we have maintained a relaxed relationship....she called less and less as time went on, which was part of going with the flow of our lives...Recently she stumbled upon her husband, flirting with a woman online. When she called me about it, I started to respond, but she clammed up and I left it alone. She called me a few days later, angry that I had not called her. I apologized, and she told me that they were both going to a counselor..and that they were working on it. Being married 25 years myself, I thought that she would call if she wanted to discuss this further- There's more-we were at both of our sons' high school graduation, and we hugged and shared a moment...I asked how her mom was feeling, because I knew that she was sick. She said not too good...and that it didn't seem like she was going to get any better....a few weeks later, I emailed her something I thought she would like, and added my hope that all was well-how was her mom feeling etc....Tonight I get an email from her telling me that I have disappointed her a 2nd time-that I did not follow up to see how her mom was....and her mom died...I told her that I cannot believe that she has time to be mad at me at a time like this...I plan on calling her in the am, as it is too late now...but...I need to talk about this and get some of it out of my head. Thanks for listening.
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