Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I am organized, action oriented. I like lists to accomplish (and remember) things. My husband ignores lists. He will promise to, eg. clean up the garage, and never does. We just bought a brand new water softener and he has to 'think about how to install it'. I understand that but know it will take weeks to get done. I just get angrier and angrier at him inside and will eventually blow. If I mention anything about it, he'll be very reactive and make me feel like a nag. I am tired of the games and my garage and basement are total messes, as they are his areas. Can anyone help me? This just drives me absolutely nuts!!! I need some coaching!!!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I dont know what to do. He doesn't see to realise that i won't put up with this rubbish.
When will men realise that doing some house work is the best thing in the world for improving their sex life.
its extremely hard to feel sexually attracted to some one you resent & are angry with!!
I think i'm just going to have to lay down the law.
xxjanee
ps: Any help would be be great?
So i mention it, then i nag a bit, then i simply go on strike. (This works because i am the home body so if this doesn't apply you may have to get 'strike' creative) I only wash my own cloths, i only cook my own dinner etc.... He soon gets the message. Sometimes it's neccessary to mention that it's not a problem if he doesn't feel like doing the things expected of him because that gives me permission to also just think of my self and thanks for the opportunity to not consider him. Things soon start getting done - and quick!
Hold back sex? yaa i tried this, I am a guy, so that only lasted about 2 seconds(damn)
Speaking of being guys, idiot will do anything for.....
My spotless yard and house has done nothing for my sex life,Ihave not given up though(oh crap,did I marry a guy?) Good luck everybody JJ
its also annoying when they are sat down watching a prog that you wouldnt mind watching but u cant coz u got too much to do !!!! GUESS WHAT I DONE THIS SUNDAY ?? MY Husb was sat on the sofa watching a movie, so i got the hoover out and start vacuuming lol he said" there should be a law against that on a sunday" and i said, "well you should try doing the hoovering when youre watching a film, is even more bloody annoying "
guess what he did ???? he went upstairs and fixed the toilet seat wahey !!!!
p.s. there is still a mirror in the living room on the floor that is waiting to be attached to the bedroom wall and pics that need to go up (since we moved in in july)
hmmmm maybe i should take a diy course then i can do it myself,but then saying that , that would be more annoying coz id never have any spare time coz id be doing even more jobs lol
GOOD LUCK RUSTERS
(couldn't resist - and I'm surprised no one else jumped on this..lol...BTW - the strike idea is a good one)
patience is not my forte but i guess it's the no.1 weapon to battle this. it's scary because at times i feel like i just want to run away and leave him but good sense says that i should be there to weather this one out with him. i'm not sure if this is done out of duty, or because he has been an angel with me, or because the sex was damn good before (now it's practically non-existant or 2 mins and it's over) or because i really love him and believe that there is hope at the end of this struggle.
i believe that for procrastinators it is not easy to just get on with it and do it. their own consequences are their own deadlines and no amount of nagging will help them out of it. they have to realise they have a problem, and realise that we are living with that problem too. they have to understand that their problem is effecting us and we have to live with it as well no matter how normal they want us to act around it.
good luck to all