How do you have a healthy relationship between two people who have not had a healthy relationship in their lifetimes? How do you deal with the baggage each carry? How do you communicate with someone if they never have a response to anything you say or write to them? I am in a new relationship. Only two months in, although we have been friends for over a year prior to becoming involved. I think we are moving too fast making mistakes we both have made before and he wants me to move in before the end of the year...and do a commitment ceremony in 3 weeks! He lied to his family and told them it was a Marriage ceremony and invited them even though they dont approve of my religious path. He drinks...alot! I have concerns but he refuses to address any of them. When I try to talk to him in person he just wants to kiss all over me and try to distract me from talking to him. He bounces all over the place like a two year old with ADHD and a new cup of cherry Kool-aid and won't sit still. I have wrote him letters, e mails to try to get thru to him my point of view but all I get is evasion techniques.He says he don't know what to say to me. I want to know why he lied to his family, he told me he does not want to get married, but told his family that we were getting married. I have concerns about the drinking...mostly because he drives intoxicated! I feel like I am trying to make this work but he asks me when will I be "in love" with him again? I have not been out of love with him but he feels me pulling away its just because he keeps evading me! I feel this crashing and burning and I am scared and feeling like a fool for ever believing it could work to begin with. I am 41...NOT 14! I just dont have the patience for the immature behavior. He will be 50 in a few days, but is acting like he's 5. He was upset said I was cold when I wasn't going to make love to him after he threw his back out and was in pain, he said it was from "lack of sex" he could not walk, he used a cane to walk for christ sake. How could I make love to him? And I wanted him to STOP kissing on me so we could have a conversation like adults. I dont know what to think I dont know what to do.
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