Who do you want to be and why? (not talking about a job or role) What do you see in your future? Are you just hoping that some magic guy is going to come around and fix it?

People generally fall into one of four categories. You want to be like your mother. You want to be like your father. You don't want to be like your mother. You don't want to be like your father. Almost all of your decisions are based off of this if you really look at yourself and your decisions.

You're already going over a lot of crazy ideas in your head. We all do it at times.
So, let's be constructive and get some real answers to those questions. I'm not asking you to post your answers here. When you can answer those questions, all of them, then you'll start to understand who you really are and where you want to go.

It may appear to be difficult at first, but anyone can do it. You have the opportunity in your youth to figure out who you really are. Do it now and you won't have that horrid future you see before you.

It's not about needing or wanting someone. It's about being you. Be comfortable with YOUR life. Not what holes need to be filled by someone else. Only you can do that. Do you really think you can do the same for somebody else if you haven't taken care of yourself first?

maybe we can talk and then i might be able to help. but only if you want to. ~Sarina*

I don't know that we're not supposed to need someone. I think that's a part of love. Just listening to Tim McGraw and Faith Hill sing the song, "I Need You" supports that. I think that in our world, relationships have been so cheapened that we feel it's dangerous to need someone. Men especially seem to not like this concept. But I believe previous generations had it down. My parents - they need each other and have their entire marriage. It's been a good thing. I think Brian makes a good point about being like or unlike your parents. I have always cherished and respected my mom. I do model myself after her. How come it worked for her, but it didn't work for me? (I am divorced). My husband didn't want or need me (or anyone at all). But I think life can be much richer if we can let ourselves need each other.

There's nothing wrong with trying to be like your mom as long as you are aware of it. The problem is that most people don't realize WHY they act a certain way.

If you begin to understand that, then you can more easily be the person you really want to be.

a coda mtg will help it helped me until i wanted to be married. wanted to be like him he is good and kind and loving. im also all these things but in a different way. of course i lost myself in him. could it be we both are codependant and lost are selves in each other he did thing he didnt want to do and i became what i didnt want to be controling. im home 3 mo and feeling the need to be less controling. because im in control of my enviorment and life.i want to be me good and bad

If you 'want' someone then you can probably do without them, if you 'need' someone you probably can't live without them in your life.

Sometimes people put other peoples needs over their own, and cannot have what they need or want.
I put others needs before my own on occasion.

Need and want yourself first, then everything else will follow.

i feel the same way and am struggling to be not as needy. my boyfriend stated out as the needy one and i was the one wanting my space. for a period of time, we were both needy and now he is doing his thing with his career and I feel overwhelmed and needy. I feel like I am my own person but for 3 1/2 years he has been my best friend, the person I confide in and now he doesn't have time for that. I can't seem to shake the needy feeling and I desperately want to. Distracting myself with friends and family, talking about it to others, journaling are all helping.