Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I've been in a relationship with someone for about a year and a half now and we've never had any major problems. He's a great guy who knows how to always make me laugh so on and so forth.
But like every relationship, we have our problems.
When I was younger, I was raped and since then, I find it difficult to be completely open about a situation that hurts or bothers me. So normally if he(my boyfriend) says or does something that makes me sad, I normally try to brush it off, and not let him know I feel bad.
But now, things are begining to build up. I feel as if i'm becoming hostile whenever we speak. The last thing I want to do is push him away.
I don't know how to talk to him and tell him whats bothering me because im so scared he's going to become upset, or maybe think im over reacting. I don't want him to take things the wrong way. I want him to understand and not just think im "PMSing".
What can I do?
But like every relationship, we have our problems.
When I was younger, I was raped and since then, I find it difficult to be completely open about a situation that hurts or bothers me. So normally if he(my boyfriend) says or does something that makes me sad, I normally try to brush it off, and not let him know I feel bad.
But now, things are begining to build up. I feel as if i'm becoming hostile whenever we speak. The last thing I want to do is push him away.
I don't know how to talk to him and tell him whats bothering me because im so scared he's going to become upset, or maybe think im over reacting. I don't want him to take things the wrong way. I want him to understand and not just think im "PMSing".
What can I do?
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I ruined my marriage with this. I only told my husband what I thought he needed to know so when I pushed him away he didn't get it and went off and found himself a woman who wasn't pushing. I hate to tell you this because you prob don't want to hear it but you have to tell him and, tell him everything. Please give him credit for being the awesome man you have fallen for. He will have feelings about it but there is no need to be scared. What happened to you then was not your fault. Pick a time where you can be alone and not interupted, take a deep breath and start at the begining.
If all else fails, go to therapy together but in honesty just been open with him will open a flood gate in you as it did me. Free yourself, you can do it!
You have to put yourself first hun, and acknowledge the way things make you feel.
Sending you big hugs
"God knows I adore you and who knows, maybe things will be different tomorrow after we both get rest. But we need to talk or vent or something. Im feeling like things are a bit off. I love you."
Today came around, we spoke like we normally do throughout the day and we were less uptight, but i haven't seen him yet and I dont think it would be an apropriate convo to have over the phone.
I feel myself backing down tho.
I don't know how to put my foot down and just let it out.
Writing seems like a good idea.. but I can barely get my words together in my head to explain it to myself let alone down on paper.
Help. =(