"if we walk together in the street he is always ahead, we never hold hands"

I went through that too, hated it. It hurts a lot.

Will he go to counseling with you? He needs someone to tell him how to treat his wife properly.

This support group is helpful as well.

http://dailystrength.org/c/Physical-Emotional-Abuse/support-group

Your husband is emotionally abusive. Mine was as well.

ABUSE IS ABUSE WHETHER IT'S PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, OR MENTAL. UR SON IS SEEING/HEARING ALL THIS AND IT DOES AFFECT HIM NOW AND HOW HE'LL TREAT WOMEN AND U. GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW WHILE UR STILL STRONG. IT WON'T GET BETTER. U TEACH OTHERS HOW TO TREAT U. WE'RE HERE 4 U.

I have so many thoughts but don't know where to begin.

When he walks ahead, turn around and go back let him walk alone.
this is also one of my pet pieve's its rude and disrespectful. My husband has a bad habit of this at times and its merely because he wants to get there and has stuff on his mind. But has found it would be faster if he had waited, instead of having to look to see where I have gone because he didn't wait. I won't walk alone if I am not alone. I have made that very clear to him." you came with me you will walk with me, not in front of nor bhind me, With me" However, old habits are hard to break, He still finds himself walking ahead at time but at least now he will stop and wait, if he catched himself doing it.


next, when he shouts walk away.. my husband also tends to shout or become arguementive when I too want to talk about something. So, when he begins to shout I just walk away. Refuse to speak to him for the remainder of the evening. Actually, this just happended the other day. He became frustrated and combative so I walked away. I listened to him grunting a few things as I was walking away(in frustration). But he got my point. I'm not arguing. I will wait to finish the conversation when he has had time to think about what I wanted to discuss not fight about.
I think the yelling is part of a control issue. I'm not sure. but either way it doesn't work for me. Grew up with a father that way. and I refuse to put myself through that crap agagain. You say you are strong and perhaps, the yelling is a way to overpower you in a sence. Because I know that is how I relate this behavior with my husband. other than the fact that he has anger issues. And this is the only way I have found that stops the bull.
I look at as an adult temper tantrum. If a kids constantly behaves like that. You would ingore the child until he understands that just because you throw a temper tantrum doesn't mean you are getting your way. Evenually the tantrums stop. Same goes for our husbands. However, they are adults and it will take longer for them to understand and change their old habits and poor behavior.

I have found when you leave them no one but themselves to shout at, they still continue to shout. It's mean but each time i walk away from my husband, i will giggle inside asking myself how long it will take him to stop this time. It just prove's its of bad habit. He would have yelled either way. But doesn't mean we have to stand there and listen to it. I love and respect my husband and resfuse to lower myself by agrueing in return. Trust me I can argue with the best of them. But I choose my battles. Not every discussion should turn into a battle.

next, everything always being your fault, I call this a character flaw and something that generally goes hand in hand with the other behaviors you described. I married the same man I swear. But I still love him. These men aren't programmed to take blame. It's always our fault otherwise we would have a reason to be shouting at them.

I have been in your shoes on several levels and can relate almost instantly to what you have explained here. All relationships are different and I am merely sharing what seems to work for me when i was forced to deal with the same behaviors from my husband.

Part of getting past this is understanding the person you are dealing with and the person you have become as well because of it. I understand you need to hear a compliment now and then feel appreciated like you once did in the beginning of the relationship. Who doesn't but you can't count on that to make you feel good and lets not forget your son. What you have done with your son should be all the compliment you need. You say your son is being bullied, and he is in Karate. It shows your son has learned the higher power of Karate and is not abusing what he has learned to do physically and that is a good thing. You are doing a great job. And I hope you can read my post and come out of it with a positive thought. I'm here if you need to share stories.

Sweetie you sound as though your living in my world, My b/f does not cuddle, hug, kiss, nothing, just sex, BORING!!!!!!!!!!!! Hes not going to change his ways either, Sweetie verbal abuse is just as bad as him hitting you. It puts you down to you feel your nothing and then you feel that way. I went through that in my 15 yr. mariage and now in my relationship with my b/f. The only thing i know we can do is change our selves, not put up with it, if it costs the relationship, then it wsn't worth it to start with. And trust me I know it';s easier said than done. I wish you all the best. Keep strong and don't let him put you down, your better than that. Best Wishes Hugs AMy

I admire you being strong, but.. For the sake of yourself and your son, there is a time to pack up and leave. No body deserves any type of abuse and that hon, is abuse. I think it's time for you to just, "Heyyyy, hi, yeah good-bye!"

Completely up to you, we're all here for you no matter what you do. :)

Get rid of this guy. You deserve better. You only have one life to live, don't live in this kind of unhappiness.