
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
How did you handle the pain of your separation?

deleted_user
I believe I had the least painful separation on the planet. We had already sold our house, were living back in my hometown near lots of supportive family members and the kids rarely saw their dad at all. It was very trauma free, especially not having to sell property or be uprooted. Plus my ex had told me we were going to get divorced for so many years before it happened, that it was a well-accepted fact when it actually did happen. Anyhow, I know that most people suffer great loss at this time, especially when it wasn't really expected. I couldn't imagine coming home and unexpectedly finding a note from my spouse saying he had left like some people do. Then having to dispose of mutually owned property on top of it! So, people who have experienced such a difficult separation - how did you cope? What did you do to keep your sanity when your world was unexpectedly crumbling around you? I have a very good friend in this situation and want to find creative, positive ways to help him cope.
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You are a good and caring friend!
I found a great deal of support and solace by joining a YahooGroup called, 'Coping with Divorce/separation'. I highly recommend it. There's over 3000 members and there is almost nothing that you could say or ask about that is new to them. It offers advice and empathy about all aspects of divorce and separation, emotional, financial, practical ... everything.
Good luck to your friend!!! Divorce was one of the hardest things I ever went through.
I have coped with the assistance of the Daily Strength members, weekly sessions with a psychologist, the love & support from my family, an excellent attorney, a caring medical doctor and anti-depressant meds...in that order.
Let him know that there are stages to the process he is going through very much like grief. But, from all accounts of my friends in the B.U. & Divorce community, the stages of divorce change rapidly and reoccur in random order; often within the same day.
Some people seem to benefit from self-help books. I haven't the patience to cull out the good from the nonsense on the self-help shelf.
Finally, tell your friend someone is hoping for the best for him and cares. Someone does!
I went into the wilderness for four years.
Not highly recommended but worked for me.
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After #4
Re-invent yourself.
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