Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Healthy Without Sex?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, and now live together. My sex drive has significantly decreased (i.e. we are having sex MAYBE once a month). He says he's okay with it, but I still feel bad. Are we really in a good relationship if we don't have sex often?
deleted_user
deleted_user
My opinion would not really count,, however, I would think that the "honeymoon" is over and you are comfortable with each other,, sex is not all there is to a good relationship. Do you love him? Does he love you? Do you treat each other with respect and friendship.. If you answer yes to all of these questions,, I would say you have exactly what I have spent a lifetime looking for!!!
God bless you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completely agree with jerriean...but would like to add that sex is a normal and healthy part of a relationship...can you answer why you and your partner aren't wanting or choosing to have it more often...is it simply a lull of comfort, is it something physical that a doctor can address, is there depression prevalent, is there an underlying resentment or building anger...etc.
deleted_user
deleted_user
These replies are fantastic....
I think on the whole, if you're happy with your sex life, and he's happy with your sex life, regardless of how often that is, then that's healthy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you're happy, it's healthy ;)
deleted_user
deleted_user
My BF and her hubby hardly ever do "it". She lost her drive after the 3rd kido. As long as he dont have an issue with your drive, then why let it be an issue?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Can you fathom why your sex drive has decreased? Maybe hormone changes - look for some supporting minerals, vitamins, herbs - ginseng etc that will support your libido. And make time for cosy stuff - cuddles, massage, snuggle time.

For me it is the bonding that happens in sex that is important rather than sensations, organsms etc. Even without one jot of feeling I would still want the bonding experience, and to know my partner was getting his oats as much as he wanted.

BUT not everyone needs or wants lots of sex, and if once a month is your happy level of stability in this, well, not to make it a problem.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sex isn't everything, but it does play an important role in a healthy relationship when both parties are agreeable to it. When it is a part of the whole concept of love and fidelity, and it is something that both partners want to share, then it is awesome. But it certainly is not the indicator of a good or bad relationship, only a part of it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Robert,
You nailed my thoughts exactly (no pun intended) lol
deleted_user
deleted_user
Haha!! Thank you all for such wonderful replys! You're fantastic!!
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