YES YES YES! A man who hates his mother is called a mysoginist. Its on every list of warning signs of an abusive relationship. Im not a psycologist, but I do know that our parents are our first view into relationships. How a man treats his mother is a good if not extremely accurate indicator of how he views all women, and how he will be in a relationship. Be careful. ITS A BIG GIGANTIC RED FLAG!!

i agee with underneat...

however i would like to add that however their father treated their mothers is how they will eventually treat their wife, if they are sympathetic to their mother. at first they will do everything they can to not be like their dad, making self protective vows (i will never be like my dad) but they end up acting like them anyway, and usually very blindly.

Well, it's a little too late with the red flag. I'm married.
All I know is my husband "hates" his mother. and just wondering "if" this is why since they moved close to us; for me to take care of them; our relationship has changed big time!!

Why does he hate his mother, has he ever said?

that would be my question: why does he hate her - - there must be more to this I would think.

His childhood was alot like mine, father a drinker, mother a complainer,in his words "always needing to be the center of attention", would accuse them of doing things they never did. complain to kids about their father never doing anything with them.
And after her boys were married, putting down their wifes.
Lying to their father about things to get them in trouble.
It is really nothing "major" certainly nothing to make him hate her to this extent.
Noone has perfect childhood,I certaintly did not.My mother was worse than his; yet, I love my parents.

His hatred is real, says things like. "Stupid bitch, is a waste of skin!. worthless, pieces of s***! I could go on and on.
All I know is he is totally different now; since they came into our lifes. I get no attention, no communication, no anything!!
And his hatred is so disturbing!
Even thou' I don't see my mom much because I'm so busy with his. He acts like he can't stand her either.

well... i think it depends on the situation. If he hates her for small, petty reasons, or for no reason at all... then yeah, be worried. But if she oh i don't know, physically abused him in some way... that is a different story. It is still reason enough to keep an eye out, but don't be worried.

oh and there was a point when his father and mother were separated and his mother bitched about him having a girlfriend and she had a bf, and brought him to house and always was all over him in frount of kids. His father and mother got back together shortly after that.
Oh and always spending money, having a million clothes. His dad never being able to satify her.
Her being depressed and telling them she was going to kill herself.
Again, nothing to justify the hatred he has for her.
And his dad wasn't perfect either, but it's like he's forgave his father. and blames things he did wrong all on her. And still does!

those a big things...she didn't provide undoncitional love and meet his needs growing up...sounds like she created a lot of drama and he had to defend his character...she didn't believe in him and treat him like a special gift that he is....he probably feels that she was never pleased with him and i'm sure he did things to make her happy....if he doesn't get that under control and forgive her...well, it will spill over into the rest of his life...sorry you are going through so much...the whole situation sounds very miserable....hugs

Never any abuse, just the things I've mentioned. so do you think that justifys such hatred?

well, since he's a guy, he can identify with his father...because he knows he's reacted out of the pain his mother caused him, it's easier for him to maybe say she drove his dad away, she drove his dad to drink because she was never satisfied with anything or anyone....

So you do believe this is reason enought to hate his mother to this extent??

yes...because it just keeps festering....children need to be loved not neglected, and from what you've said, he was neglected by his mother and his father...he just puts all the blame on his mother, like you said....sometimes we just have to say, our parents weren't what we needed in life and forgive them..easier said than done, i now...but i do think he has some valid hurts and dissapointments.....he just doesn't have any grace or forgiveness for her so he resents her to his very core..and obviously it's coming out and affecting your relationship....

thank you for your reply;
I guess I'm just a more caring and forgiving person than that.
DS is awsome,wish I knew about it before. It's just that there is so much going on with our relationship. I can in no way tell everything,I'd have to write a book!!
I just know I have tryed to figure it out for so long, I can't do it anymore.
I feel married/but alone, unloved and worthless.

i'm very sorry you are going through that...please know everybody is valuable and worthy to be loved....even you