Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Last night I had a fight with the BF. AGAIN!
I mention one thing that upsets me and why , and then like 10 mins later we are fighting the same thing we always fight about. His money spending problem, his smoking, my panic disorder and hormones and depression, and how Im not normal anymore, and Im trapping him , etc.....
I understand his thinking. Since I got this disorder , I have been paranoid, self conscious, depressed, and so much more , the hormones arnt helping, and the fact I am trying to have a drug free pregnancy isnt helping much either.....
I keep telling him to wait until I can get back on meds, and theropy, but he doesnt listen .
Maybe I AM the culprit in all this ! :O Maybe it really is all me.... Hrm.....
Maybe I should just stop trying to make life better and just deal with what I got ....I unno ....relationships right now ...pain in my ass!
I mention one thing that upsets me and why , and then like 10 mins later we are fighting the same thing we always fight about. His money spending problem, his smoking, my panic disorder and hormones and depression, and how Im not normal anymore, and Im trapping him , etc.....
I understand his thinking. Since I got this disorder , I have been paranoid, self conscious, depressed, and so much more , the hormones arnt helping, and the fact I am trying to have a drug free pregnancy isnt helping much either.....
I keep telling him to wait until I can get back on meds, and theropy, but he doesnt listen .
Maybe I AM the culprit in all this ! :O Maybe it really is all me.... Hrm.....
Maybe I should just stop trying to make life better and just deal with what I got ....I unno ....relationships right now ...pain in my ass!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I can see why this is hard for him since your moods and hormones and everything are going nuts. I wish he didn't see the baby as trapping him, but as a great little person on the way.
I guess you just have to do your best to be the person you should be in the relationship.
It get's like that sometimes.
Just need to put your heads together, instead of apart.
Good luck.
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Try reading "The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships"
by Harriet Lerner
It really helped me understand why the "same old fights" kept coming up.
Don't try, just live your life.
Good luck.
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But it may also be accurate to say that you are trying your very best, as well.
If you are ill, and can't take meds, you may be rendered helpless at behaving correctly.
But you could (and probably should!!) do the therapy, to help you deal with all this!!!!
Better yet would be if you would both get marital counseling.
When you're arguing about the same things over and over again it's a sure sign that you are both stuck in ruts and know of no other way to behave. Therapy is excellent for breaking vicious circles/cycles!!!!!
Good luck!!!! I hope things work out for all 3 of you!!!!
#8
Hear Hear !!
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"Maybe I should just stop trying to make life better and just deal with what I got "
Yes, good idea.
It may catch on.
:-)
Good luck.
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