Hiya
you are old enough to know your own mind, and by the sounds of it you sound like you know what you want already, A relationship should make you feel loved, cherished , special and wanted and it sounds like you are gettin none of this from your boyfriend, what are you gaining by staying with him ? nothing really !! youre not married, got no kids so youre not tied down to him, itsounds like he would rather be with his friends anyway. its obv up to you as its your life, but id say move on, find someone who wil give you the respect you deserve, youve met someone already so sounds like youve found that already

In order for any relationship to work, your needs have to be met. When that stops happening, you have 3 choices... 1) talk about it and work on it together; 2) Do nothing and remain unhappy; or 3) move on.
This is not meant to sound cold, but if we were talking about a job (same rules apply- it's a relationship too) you would most likely have quit and found something else by now, vs. put up with it for 2 years. The bottom line is whether or not you are ready to do what is right for you or not. It sounds to me like you have made some forward progress, at least mentally. Now, the next step is up to you. Will you take care of yourself, or continue to take care of your boyfriend who doesn't seem to have the same consideration for you?
Good luck!

Both comments above are dead on. If you have to ask what you should do, you already know. Plus, you have developed feelings for someone else - so obviously the one you are with isn't doing it for you any more. Fortunately, you are young enough to be able to move on and still have lots of happiness. There are too many people (and some of them are on this board) who settled and ended up very unhappy and later divorced.

You already know what you should do.

Be strong. Don't let him bully you into staying. Do what is right for you.

.

Following your own instincts may result in making mistakes, which you can learn from.

Better to learn from your own instincts than the advice of others, in this instance.

Only you can decide which path to tread.

Good luck.

...

Sail away my dear.Lose the bugger.You don't need that crap and it gets worse.Marry him and its ten times worse[statistically speaking,I might add] you will be ground down to ash.Your spirit and joy of life ripped from you.Go,git,fly away .Reach for life with both hands.

Ok... so what would you advise some one if they were in a relatinship where...

*They had been viliontly violated,
*They were unheard and unvalidated during discussions attempting to resolve relationship problems
*were accused of having feeling for their mates - when unfounded,
*felt they came second to mates and computer games - hey maybe that even third to..
*the someone your advising questions their love for this person
*and to boot - has now developed feelings for a third party.

What would you advise this person?

Now take that advice!

If in a relationaship ANYONE hurts YOU..you MUST LEAVE THAT RELATIONSHIP or expect to continue to get hurt....

Good luck & take care of yourself

I think you should date other guys.

I am the same age as you and so you are definitely old enough. As some of the others have said, being in a relationship is a special thing, and you should feel loved and special. Love never hurts, ever. If you are constantly arguing, that is certainly not going to help you feel good about yourself because I have been there in past relationships, and there is definitely a difference between disagreeing and talking things through and fighting. In a sense, he sounds controlling, from the way you talked about him being violent before, and mentioning him using the argument of how you "fancy his mates", because he doesn't want you to look at anyone else, which would be another sign of control. He doesn't seem to be putting the effort towards a relationship and that you deserve. You deserve to be held and loved and cared for. If anything, you might want to take a break and see where it brings you to because if he understands, he will be there for you, if not, it wasn't meant to be. As you said, you started to develop feelings for someone else, maybe it's time to test those out...

He hurt you?

Then what the hell is the question?

Get out! No man [or woman for that matter] has the right to put their hands on you.

You are a strong independant woman and don't you DARE let that man treat you like a doormat.

That is all he is doing, making you clean his house and cook his dinner and sleep with him while he lays around and does his own thing.

You do not need a guy that takes you for grandted and especially one that hits you.

There is NO excuse for a man hurting you.

Take it for someone that knows, my ex boyfriend used to mentally abuse me and on occassions he would put his hands on me and I vowed NEVER to let anyone hurt me again.

Get out, you do not need someone like that. Pack your things and tell him you have had it.

Be strong, if you don't love him you are just wasting precious days of your life you CAN NOT get back.

Goodluck girl, get out of there before he hurts you again.

As someone already pointed out, others of us on this post are putting up with too much. Don't follow our lead...

If you are not happy with this guy and have developed feelings for someone else, by all means "move on"...

You might consider "taking a break" from a relationship to heal your self-esteem for a little while (if it feels too soon to jump into another relationship)...

Anyway, take care of yourself...

Ok, I'm taking off the kid gloves here... so I hope you appreciate blunt honesty.

What you really need to do is examine yourself. What is it about you that would make you stay in a relationship with someone who treats you like crap just until someone else comes along? I sense a very common issue... some people (my former self included) have a tendancy to stay in one relationship until a better proposition comes along. Ideally, what we should strive for is to be strong enough to get out of a dissatisfying relationship just for the sake of getting out of it. Then spending some time regrouping, developing individually before jumping into a new relationship.

I used to swing from vine to vine because I couldn't stand being alone.... sometimes repeating virtually the same relationship with just a different face attached. We tend to repeat the cycle until we break it, ya know.

A person who is able to be comfortable being alone is going to have much more to offer to a relationship.

I hope you are on with your life without him by now. Nobody deserves that. People need affection and physical contact/ not just sex.. you are young enough... go meet new people and see what can happen. don't just settle....