
Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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I am engaged to a very good man. I have a three year old daughter that my fiance loves like it was his own child. We have had problem lke any other relationship. Getting to the point; We have been together two and a half years and I feel I'm not very attracted to him anymore. He says i still make his heart race but i don't feel the same way. I love him very much but I don't feel I'm in love with him. I am trying very hard and my daughter is attached to him. He helps me cook, clean, and take care of my daughter. I just don't know what to do and i feel stupid to end a relationship because of attraction. Am i shallow and just need to get over it or am I cheating my self and my fiance because of these feelings?
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There are a few questions you need to ask yourself. Do you feel like there is someone out there that will make you happier in marriage or love? Are you possibly in a low grade depression? Has the death of your mother made you feel that you are afraid to love somebody again for fear of losing them?
I think you'll know what to do if you answer those questions honestly. If you don't think those questions are relevant, then it must be that you feel like you are "settling" for your current mate. That's the way your question sounded, but you need to do some self-examination to be sure.
If you are "settling", then you don't really have any choice but to confront yourself and be honest with your mate. He should be informed so he can make his own choices without depending on false information.
You know the answers better than anyone else. Try to be fair. It's much easier to separate now than to have everyone get attached for more years. Your daughter is only three right now.
If this doesn't help, then I'd sincerely recommend visiting a counselor before you get married.
But differently to you, although I saw a lot of this fellow, we were not really in more than a friend relationship cos I just could not bring myself to do the physical side of things.