Hi everyone! My fiance and I are total opposites. I am the happy, "glass is half full" kind of person, and he is very negative and half empty kind of person. He constantly has negative comments. Every conversation, his view is always negative. For instance, if we were talking about someones wedding- his comment would be something like "they aren't going to make it anyway"- Where mine would be "Im glad to see two people so happy together".
Even our hobbies are nothing alike. He is all about watching sports and drinking. I like to work on my car- and I show it at car shows, and go to car meets. I can't stand sports (unless someone I know is playing them). But he lives and breathes them. My car is my passion- and he isn't interested.
I guess what I want some opinions on, is can this work? I can't see myself without him, but sometimes everything about him upsets me. I even asked him to read the "love languages" so that we could learn to make each other happy, in the way that we each value... He blew it off... But all the time (literally daily) he tells me how he thinks I'm an angel, and he never knew love like this, and I'm what he had prayed for his whole life.... etc. He's happy when it comes easy for him (whatever it is that he wants) but when I express that I'm hurt or sad about something in the hopes of fixing the problem- he flies off the handle- and is never supportive. He turns it around and starts blame-shifting. Pretty much life is grand if he is happy- but if I say one word about anything he might have to work on, it's the end of the world.
Everytime I start to wonder if we are right for each other, he says things like "I couldn't live without you- I decided a long time ago that you were it for me- If I don't have you, I might as well die." I don't know what to do about that. I don't know if it's sincere or if it's a controlling move....
my something is this:i bought a bed frame for a bigger bed for my new room. I also bought the bedspread and sheets. I still need to buy a mattress but I don’t have money to buy everything at once. I’m in no particular rush. I’m happy to buy things as I can afford them. It’s kinda nice. Your turn !!
I’m lonely and anxious and irritable and have no appetite. Thankfully my therapist is back tomorrow and I have an appointment with her. I may want to see her on Thursday too. I’m falling apart on the inside and nobody knows. I’m doing what I have to do. Really I just want to lay in bed all day and sleep. But I visited my sister for an hour and we chatted over coffee. I shoveled my driveway....