Dont know if anyone reads my journal... I hope so, but I guess there are so many out there. Anyways it is basically this post, just this one is more for a question

I have started a relationship with a woman that has exceeded all of my desires and needs in someone. Because of this relationship I am experiencing symptoms of my illness. Its not her fault I feel these things, but I have to take care of them to progress as a person and to really become a better person. I have a strong desire to be better then I am.

I was without symptoms when things were constant, but change triggers it. She feels that she is the root of this issue because she is the change in my life. The truth is that I am a strong man that has gone through allot to get to where I am. I have prevailed again and again in the face of overwhelming odds, and I know that with this strength I will continue to do so

I am afraid that in her heart I will become a pile of mental problems and not a individual who is strong and healthy. I really need to understand the balance of sharing my problems and dealing with them on my own.

I know that this wonderful woman wants to solve my problems. To ignore my anxiety/paranoia and let it take root is a recipe for disaster. I must step up and use the tools I have to fix the issues at hand (which I'm going to do)

I don't know what to do about all of this. I think I have to talk about it, but I don't know what to say. I hope she sticks around long enough for me to work out my problems so that I can progress above and beyond this change. Anyways if I ask her about it, then isnt that just making my problems that much more evident?

Maybe I should just stop talking about it, and start talking about the things that matter. No more health issues, mental issues, etc... not for awhile. Then again, maybe Im just trying to control things too much...

I have to relax, or maybe I have to address this issue... I dont know, is their a right answer?