i think it depends one what has happened and if you both really want it to work....if not you should both walk away now...but if you both really want it to work you need to figure it out now!

Without knowing the details (I'm not asking you to tell us them) it's hard to say. Are these trust issues? Financial? Drugs? Violence? If someone continually does something to disappoint someone else, it will be hard to ever get back to where you were. You both need to talk - ask yourselves - can either of you imagine waking up tomorrow without the other in your life? You keep coming back to each other - that is good!

thanks casper and scifo. i don't think either of us are ready to walk away right now. i know i'm not. we don't have financial, drug, or violence issues. we are recovering from trust issues though. and it keeps both of us on edge. we're both different when it comes to expressing our feelings.

Well it's good to hear there are no drug problems.
Maybe each of you just need to take some time to work on yourselves!

Depends on how serious the transgressions are. If you both cheated on each other, and you're not swingers and want to be monogamous, I'd say this relationship is in pretty serious jeopardy. Or if there is a drug or other addiction that is draining both of you emotionally and finacially, not good. But if it's just differences in personality that lead to arguments, well...I guess you guys can work on it or move onto other people.

You can truly forgive if there's trust and faith working for you. Trust that you have learned your lesson and the faith that you'll stick to it.
Everyone makes mistakes but that's not a free pass. Each mistake comes with a price. Once the price is too high for one party to pay, the relationship is pretty much broken.
None of us can tell you if you're past the breaking point. Talk to your partner and sort it out.

I dont think forgiving is the hard part, it is forgetting

my answere is yes. I suffered from sexual abuse at the hands of my step father & by an uncle. I have truley forgiven them both! It did not happen without work though.

IMO trusting and forgiving are two seperate things.. You can forgive someone but you still have to learn to trust them agian. It isnt easy. Ask yourself why do we have trust issues? Why do we keep doing things to hurt each other in the first place to be forgiven? Do you really love this person? Is this person healthy for you? If YOU think its even worth working out without the drama anymore than do it otherwise walk away. If you cant be good to each other you cant be happy IMO..Goodluck

I can say from personal experience, that if the trust issue span from an affair, yes, you can forgive, but forgetting is almost impossible. My husband and I were going through a hard time that I blamed myself for. I thought that I had ruined his life and the best thing for me to do is find a good way to get him to leave me, so I found someone to start a relationship with.(I really wasn't that into it, but I wanted my husband, at the time BF to think so) He of course was FURIOUS that I would do this to him and I told him to leave. When it came down to it, he asked me, "Don't you love me?" And I couldn't lie, I broke down and cried and said "more than anything" We worked it out and he's forgiven me, but still to this day, 3 years later, he hasn't forgotten and still gets insecure about certain things.

It's really a hard situation to touch on. It CAN be fixed, but the glues always going to be drying, if ya know what I mean. I wish you the best and I honestly hope that you and your partner can work things out.

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Love can overcome anything and forgiveness is quite easy BUT at a price usually.

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