I've been dating a guy for almost a year, and recently have found myself going online and meeting other guys...why?...I don't know. I've chatted with a former BF, signed up for a dating site, and most recently starting emailing and chatting a guy I barely know. I met this guy through a blogging site, and he is from my former hometown...that was the initial attraction. However, he is married and is a stayhome father of a 6 month old. The chats and emails are getting very personal, as well as sexual. A huge part of me is saying "Stop!!!", but then there is another part of me that wants this attention! I don't understand why I'm doing this, because my BF is wonderful...and showers me with attention! What is wrong with me? I feel as though I'm cheating on him, and that makes me feel awful! Any advice is welcomed...and needed! I don't know what to do...
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I'm sorry if this doesn't belong here because I'm not actually sure what happened to me. I've never shared most of these things with anyone but I've been struggling to make sense of things recently and thought this would be a good first step. I was raised in a loving, Christian home. I honestly can't put my finger on why I've always felt this way, but since I was in high school I've just had...
so last night was a tough night. I had luck with mindfulness though and am grateful that I got some sleep in between the nightmares. Will continue with the mindfulness of it keeps working. It gives my psyche a chance to rest even if I don’t sleep. So for now, tabling the past and hanging in the now. Crossing my fingers for a reprieve.