Yeah his comment was pretty inappropriate. Especially since when men get erections during a professional massage it is not because they are aroused, but because it is a natural physiological response to being touched in certain areas. There is a lot of info about that on the internet.

That aside, maybe he doesn't realize that what he is saying in hurting you. Maybe he is trying to sound macho or some guys actually think girls like it when men slight them. Next time he does it maybe you could make a comment about it, like say wow that was innapropriate, or hello your girlfriend is sitting right here. Something kind of lighthearted but that will let him know you don't like it. If he still does it then you should have a serious talk with him. The most likely answer is probably that he isn't yet comfortable with his sexuality and expressing it with his girlfriend as opposed to with his buddies.

Just let him know it hurt and maybe he'll mind his words a little more carefully around you, but be glad he is comfortable and secure enough in your relationship that he felt he could share that with you. It is natural for a man to get an erection while a massage and I'm sure he really meant to put your mind at ease when he said it.

wtf..... why did you start a conversation you did want to talk about?!

just you.

lol

im sure it didnt make him feel any better knowing that massage therapists talk about their patients with their family and friends...

men think about women. Period.

there may have been a better way to say it, maybe..but then again, he was being truthful. That IS how alot of men think..kind of the same thing to me when a man has nudey pics hanging in the garage..doesn't mean he doesn't love me or want me...just the way it is..THEY ARE MEN....

i think, there is alot to be said for him speaking honestly and bluntly with you about it. Doesn't mean he's going to go out and try anything..

i think that his honesty and candor was the right thing to say. i'm pretty much the same way.

see, to me, I would feel more disrespected if my husband was thinking what your man said and felt the need to hide it and censor himself. I want my husband to say whats on his mind. If he started holding back, I would be more likely to wonder why... whats he hiding?

I don't think there is anything wrong with expressing your insecurities and letting him know when something like that makes you feel hurt or jealous or uneasy. But if you do tell him something like that, start off by telling him what you need from him regarding it "I need reassurance from you that I am the only woman you want to act out those fantasies with..." or whatever applies... otherwise, he may just get defensive and feel like because he hurt your feelings he then has to defend himself even though he didn't really do anything so terrible. Make your needs clear, and let him know that just because it hurt you doesn't mean you don't trust him, that it is about you, not him.

The notion that he doesn't respect you or himself because he has thoughts like that is, I believe, unfounded. Now perhaps you have other reasons for feeling like he doesn't respect you, and this exacerbates it... I don't know. Maybe he doesn't respect you. But this situation alone doesn't give me that evidence.

Okay but if your bf has acted on it before should it still bother me...Yes he is truthful but he has cheated before. So is it still wrong to feel the way I feel.

It seemed as though, he was agreeing with part of a conversation, you initiated. It sounds as though he was being honest, not mean or intentionally hurtful. Sometimes, it's good to be careful when picking the topics you choose to discuss.
The cheating part is another thing, when/if he's dishonest, or deceitful, that would be of greater concern.

I agree w/page - I doubt there were bad intentions in the response and that the candidness is altogether preferable to the alternative.

Also, are you sure you haven't underestimated the discomfort factor the conversation represented at that point to him? Being self-conscious of one's body is a terrible thing for which words are small comfort.

With that in mind, I hope that if your bf one night has a bottle of Kama Sutra Sweet Almond massage oil warming in the candlelight to try on you, along with clean towels and soft music, you can put these thoughts aside and simply enjoy the moment (whether he qualifies as a professional or not).

Who knows? Maybe surprising him with some of this therapy is just what the doctor ordered...for both of you :)

Good luck!

The way I see it you started the conversation and he really didn't want to have it. You brought up boners and he agreed. The boner has nothing to do with him being your boyfriend but about him being a man and this is smply natural for men not necessarily sexual. I don't think he was being a jerk. I think you're being sensitive. This is something you should realize about him; he is a man first. I think you put a really resticted standard on him. I'd rather know my man was normal than to pretend he was put on this earth just for my purpose and need. Don't be mad at him.

guys can't control whether they get a hardon or not