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Am I the only woman that feels this way?

Jayda
Sometimes I wonder do guys ever stop and think about the things they say may affect the person they are with. I was talking with my bf the other day about massage therapy. I said that I would like to have a professional one done. I asked him if he would ever get one done too. But cause hes so self conscience of his body he said no. So to put him at a little ease I told him my sister was one and that people of all sorts of body types get them done. from zits to rashes to moles to anything and I said she told me that a lot of men get boners when there getting a massage. I kind of chuckled about it and his response was "oh yea I would too, ever guy would get one, having any girl rub on their body would make any mans head go wild." Now to me I got a little jealous. I know it stupid but sometimes he could keep those thoughts to himself. I don't want to know about what my bf calls men's "animal instinct" The fact is I dont want to know that my bf is thinking of another woman in a sexual mannor. It just feels like he has no respect for me. No respect for himself to control thoughts like that. I dont know maybe I am young but I just want to know are there others that feel that way? Or is it just me?
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That aside, maybe he doesn't realize that what he is saying in hurting you. Maybe he is trying to sound macho or some guys actually think girls like it when men slight them. Next time he does it maybe you could make a comment about it, like say wow that was innapropriate, or hello your girlfriend is sitting right here. Something kind of lighthearted but that will let him know you don't like it. If he still does it then you should have a serious talk with him. The most likely answer is probably that he isn't yet comfortable with his sexuality and expressing it with his girlfriend as opposed to with his buddies.
just you.
lol
im sure it didnt make him feel any better knowing that massage therapists talk about their patients with their family and friends...
there may have been a better way to say it, maybe..but then again, he was being truthful. That IS how alot of men think..kind of the same thing to me when a man has nudey pics hanging in the garage..doesn't mean he doesn't love me or want me...just the way it is..THEY ARE MEN....
i think, there is alot to be said for him speaking honestly and bluntly with you about it. Doesn't mean he's going to go out and try anything..
I don't think there is anything wrong with expressing your insecurities and letting him know when something like that makes you feel hurt or jealous or uneasy. But if you do tell him something like that, start off by telling him what you need from him regarding it "I need reassurance from you that I am the only woman you want to act out those fantasies with..." or whatever applies... otherwise, he may just get defensive and feel like because he hurt your feelings he then has to defend himself even though he didn't really do anything so terrible. Make your needs clear, and let him know that just because it hurt you doesn't mean you don't trust him, that it is about you, not him.
The notion that he doesn't respect you or himself because he has thoughts like that is, I believe, unfounded. Now perhaps you have other reasons for feeling like he doesn't respect you, and this exacerbates it... I don't know. Maybe he doesn't respect you. But this situation alone doesn't give me that evidence.
The cheating part is another thing, when/if he's dishonest, or deceitful, that would be of greater concern.
Also, are you sure you haven't underestimated the discomfort factor the conversation represented at that point to him? Being self-conscious of one's body is a terrible thing for which words are small comfort.
With that in mind, I hope that if your bf one night has a bottle of Kama Sutra Sweet Almond massage oil warming in the candlelight to try on you, along with clean towels and soft music, you can put these thoughts aside and simply enjoy the moment (whether he qualifies as a professional or not).
Who knows? Maybe surprising him with some of this therapy is just what the doctor ordered...for both of you :)
Good luck!