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This is an article I found online. It made me stop and think. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did
What You See Is What You Get!
by Jan Denise
One day everything seems perfect. Another day (maybe the very next day) nothing seems remotely perfect. What happened? The company downsized, he screwed up again, she dumped you, one of the kids got suspended? All good answers.
But maybe what really happened is you shifted your focus and took your attitude with it. You can't focus on the "bad" stuff without feeling like everything stinks.
Likewise, you can't focus on the "good" without feeling grateful because it's all within your reach!
It's simple except that when we get peeved, we generally want to let somebody know. We want to blame somebody. We want to make sure they get it that they understand that our life could be better if they would get their act together.
In other words, when we are angry, we don't want to focus on what's good; we want to focus on what's bad. We want to justify our rage and so we go on and on. And the longer we wail, the more we fuel our anger. No we don't vent it; we fuel it.
When you truly forgive yourself, you can forgive your partner. ]When you stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty, you can stop blaming others.
In the meantime, be aware of what you look at. Practice shifting your focus and your attitude. And see how quickly you can give up your anger. Trade it for a positive outcome by communicating your feelings in a constructive way.
Look for what's good and appreciate it. And you make it better.
In Mike Robbins' new book "FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF: The Power of Appreciation," he says that greater appreciation leads to improved connection and communication, greater fulfillment and even better sex!
Of course it does, right? It's a no-brainer. So, do it appreciate the good stuff!
Robbins even offers five tips to bring more appreciation into your relationship:
1) Look for good stuff catch your partner doing things you appreciate.
2) Celebrate what you want to see more of enthusiastically let them know what they are doing well and what you like.
3) Ask for what you want if you are not feeling appreciated, ask for it.
4) Create quality time together set up a "date night" and make sure to take some time to acknowledge one another.
5) Appreciate yourself pat yourself on the back so that you are not dependent on your partner's appreciation.
"The majority of conflicts that arise in romantic relationships come down to one fundamental issue one or both people don't feel appreciated," says Robbins.I think he's right. "
What You See Is What You Get!
by Jan Denise
One day everything seems perfect. Another day (maybe the very next day) nothing seems remotely perfect. What happened? The company downsized, he screwed up again, she dumped you, one of the kids got suspended? All good answers.
But maybe what really happened is you shifted your focus and took your attitude with it. You can't focus on the "bad" stuff without feeling like everything stinks.
Likewise, you can't focus on the "good" without feeling grateful because it's all within your reach!
It's simple except that when we get peeved, we generally want to let somebody know. We want to blame somebody. We want to make sure they get it that they understand that our life could be better if they would get their act together.
In other words, when we are angry, we don't want to focus on what's good; we want to focus on what's bad. We want to justify our rage and so we go on and on. And the longer we wail, the more we fuel our anger. No we don't vent it; we fuel it.
When you truly forgive yourself, you can forgive your partner. ]When you stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty, you can stop blaming others.
In the meantime, be aware of what you look at. Practice shifting your focus and your attitude. And see how quickly you can give up your anger. Trade it for a positive outcome by communicating your feelings in a constructive way.
Look for what's good and appreciate it. And you make it better.
In Mike Robbins' new book "FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF: The Power of Appreciation," he says that greater appreciation leads to improved connection and communication, greater fulfillment and even better sex!
Of course it does, right? It's a no-brainer. So, do it appreciate the good stuff!
Robbins even offers five tips to bring more appreciation into your relationship:
1) Look for good stuff catch your partner doing things you appreciate.
2) Celebrate what you want to see more of enthusiastically let them know what they are doing well and what you like.
3) Ask for what you want if you are not feeling appreciated, ask for it.
4) Create quality time together set up a "date night" and make sure to take some time to acknowledge one another.
5) Appreciate yourself pat yourself on the back so that you are not dependent on your partner's appreciation.
"The majority of conflicts that arise in romantic relationships come down to one fundamental issue one or both people don't feel appreciated," says Robbins.I think he's right. "
deleted_user
Hmmmm very true, I want to feel more appreciated at times.
deleted_user
Thank you.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
