Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have a very close friend; he is going through a bad time in his life right now; a VERY long story short, almost 3 months ago, he hung up the phone on me, would not talk to me, not even on line, but two weeks later I got a birthday card from him; he apologized for "being an ass", but asked for his space and that he needed time, and told me it was not my fault.
It is very hard for me to accept giving this person his space, but I have done it for nearly 3 months. I have e-mailed him (of course, he doesn't answer); I have sent snail mails to him, only two in the last three months, but still want to try to keep the lines of communication open.
A mutual friend (who has known this person a lot longer than I have ), says if he asks for space, GIVE HIM HIS SPACE and leave him alone.
Why is it so hard for me to do that?
It is very hard for me to accept giving this person his space, but I have done it for nearly 3 months. I have e-mailed him (of course, he doesn't answer); I have sent snail mails to him, only two in the last three months, but still want to try to keep the lines of communication open.
A mutual friend (who has known this person a lot longer than I have ), says if he asks for space, GIVE HIM HIS SPACE and leave him alone.
Why is it so hard for me to do that?
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As a lot on here, I feel as my brain is just wired wrong. I feel like whenever I've been real bad with anxiety, my only coping mechanisms are either having a few drinks, or sex and masturbating.But then having a climax ONLY to decrease anxiety makes me feel worse sometimes! Like I'm only using it as a crutch to feel ok. So then after I... *release*... I feel kind of weird and awkward about...
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So I'm new to this group. But I'm at a roadblock and looking for advise. I've been married for 17 years and have 3 beautiful teen/adult children. We've had hard times and great times, but always make things work and won't give up on each other. We are best friends and I can't imagine my life without him. My husband and middle child are ADHD. It's been challenging. Fighting for my child from...
Sometimes we men are shit-heels who simply don't want to face our unpleasant emotions (or yours). Just chock it up to that.
But giving him his space is exactly what you need to do. The trick now is to fill your mind with new thoughts...another person, an activity, something that brings you intense pleasure and completely takes your mind and soul off him and the past. Difficult, I know. I like physical exercise, and the scenery (hot ladies) is nice too. Completely takes my mind and soul off the ex.
But I am sure it is about control
He gave you absolutely no expanation as to why he needed space from you, his very close friend. You need reasons, you feel lost.
I think it was very shitty of him to do that to you. My advice to you would be to leave him alone. Give him the space he asked for, no matter how hard. Maybe once he realizes that your over it and that he's lost a close friend, he will try to start contacting you again. Thats when you have to decide if he's worth it.