Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have a very close friend; he is going through a bad time in his life right now; a VERY long story short, almost 3 months ago, he hung up the phone on me, would not talk to me, not even on line, but two weeks later I got a birthday card from him; he apologized for "being an ass", but asked for his space and that he needed time, and told me it was not my fault.
It is very hard for me to accept giving this person his space, but I have done it for nearly 3 months. I have e-mailed him (of course, he doesn't answer); I have sent snail mails to him, only two in the last three months, but still want to try to keep the lines of communication open.
A mutual friend (who has known this person a lot longer than I have ), says if he asks for space, GIVE HIM HIS SPACE and leave him alone.
Why is it so hard for me to do that?
It is very hard for me to accept giving this person his space, but I have done it for nearly 3 months. I have e-mailed him (of course, he doesn't answer); I have sent snail mails to him, only two in the last three months, but still want to try to keep the lines of communication open.
A mutual friend (who has known this person a lot longer than I have ), says if he asks for space, GIVE HIM HIS SPACE and leave him alone.
Why is it so hard for me to do that?
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Hi, my name is Daniel. I'm new here. I'm gay, and nearing my 50s, and am desperately lonely. I have never been in love, and feel like it will never happen. I really don't know where to meet a potential match. I don't go to bars or clubs, because I can't drink and I have a profound, though not complete, hearing loss. I am a painfully shy person who has struggled to make friends. I...
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There's a happy brain wave factory somewhere in me. I've been trying to start it on my own, but it's just not igniting. I've tried lots of different tools. Sometimes I get a flame going, but it just doesn't last. Some people, so it seems, were designed to be alone or to be able to withstand being alone. Not me.It's been like this for so long. When there is a woman in my life -- or more frequently...
Sometimes we men are shit-heels who simply don't want to face our unpleasant emotions (or yours). Just chock it up to that.
But giving him his space is exactly what you need to do. The trick now is to fill your mind with new thoughts...another person, an activity, something that brings you intense pleasure and completely takes your mind and soul off him and the past. Difficult, I know. I like physical exercise, and the scenery (hot ladies) is nice too. Completely takes my mind and soul off the ex.
But I am sure it is about control
He gave you absolutely no expanation as to why he needed space from you, his very close friend. You need reasons, you feel lost.
I think it was very shitty of him to do that to you. My advice to you would be to leave him alone. Give him the space he asked for, no matter how hard. Maybe once he realizes that your over it and that he's lost a close friend, he will try to start contacting you again. Thats when you have to decide if he's worth it.