Today is Matt and my two month anniversary, since we got together. The past 5 days have been HELL. For one, Tuesday, I started my period, I was at his apartment and I had nothing but toliet paper for the next three hours until my mother got off work to take me to the store. I was cramping pretty bad, unusal for me. I felt pretty shitty, therefore I sat on the couch and did nothing. He wanted me to help clean house, he felt bad, I know and I should of helped him. Anyway, mom came and got us for supper, to take me to town and etc. Something was said about Jay Jay, those who've been with me the whole time know of Jay Jay. It upset me because mom's boyfriend said something that I should never take anything for granted, he could get hit by a car. Knowing what that dog means to me he shouldn't of fucking said that! I went outside and mom started talking to me. She said I was in a bad mood and I said yes for one it was that time of the month, two Matt is being an ass and is acting like he doesn't want to be here let alone be with me. Mom said that it was because I sat around all day and did nothing. Well I said, you know he wants me to go place and do things when I dont feel well and that I'm not comfortable with and I do. He wont come stay here, yet I realize its alot easier at his place for him and he wont go to prom with me. That upsets me. Well we went inside and mom started in, mothers and people who's mothers were a mother know how they can be. She said that we both needed to get our shit straight and sacrafice where need be. She said that we dont need to ask the other to do something we wouldn't do for them. He took it the wrong way and now he says he will have to watch what he says to me because I go back and tell my mother and my sister everything. I DONT and my sister says he talks to her about me and about us than I talk to her period. Aint that fucked up?? Anywho, he's mad at me for that, he's mad because I came and spent a few night home, to get ready for a friend to come over when he says I could of been there. Now I"m going to spend tonight with him if he calls and most if not the rest of the week. My mother is out of the home except Monday's and Tuesday's, the only time I see her is if I go to where she is. I feel as if I don't go to his place he'll be mad, yet I want time with my momma. I just feel as if we're tumbling down a giant hill and there is nothing to grab on to, to stop us. I don't want to lose what we have, it's normally great, if not almost perfect. I don't know, I'm so down about this. He's been a jerk the past five days, and been rude. He's said hurtful things and been almost down right ugly. I'm so lost, the man I once knew seems to have slipped away into the dark and been replace by a monster. A monster I dont know. He hasn't seemed to listened to a word I said, he turns things around of what I say, picks out what he wants to hear and leaves the rest. He also says things and when I bring them up, that's not how they meant to come out. I'm LOST where is the MAN I LOVE????? I want to work on this and make it better. I know I have to try, but so does he. I don't even want to try until the old Matt is back, the one who trys too. Any advice?
Posts You May Be Interested In