and i don't know why, i think i'm starting to falter a little bit, i can't be strong all the time. i just wrote a journal entry viewable to friends, but i'd like support from everyone who can...it just feels like i'm working towards nothing, i'm trying to focus on my sleeping habits more than anything, but i just feel like i'm going to be a failure in life because i can't remember anything for more than a few minutes usually, college is harder than ever and i'm not even going full time, i really hate my job and i'm being treated differently since i told the managers about my graves'....and i just....*sigh* i don't know...i feel like i'm going to be like this forever, i can't keep living like this!! i'm just miserable sometimes, i have to keep moving forward with life...but i just feel kinda alone right now....i just want to be happy again.
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Through Gods grace we got to spend Christmas Eve together as a "blended family" and I made peace with his gf.Then he had a stroke Christmas morning and passed away today. My poor stepdaughter has been in ICU every day and my heart hurts for her and all of my children. My stepdaughter asked me if he had a DNR and I was able to contact a lawyer who said he was going to meet with him this week...
No wonder I am stressed out. I didn't even realize the holiddays are coming. Actually I don't even care.But I miss 'family'. We were always together as a 'family' at the holidays. I don't miss my ex but I miss the warm fuzzy feeling of 'family.What are all of you doing and feeling as this time comes around again?HUGSto you all