
Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

deleted_user
Ok ladies tell me what you think...The maternal grandmother of my grandson is asking to take him for a few hours on Thanksgiving day but hasnt spent any time with him since Oct.14 (a little over an hour) I spoke with her and told her before I would allow her to take him away with her, I wanted her to come and spend some time with him here in my home. As of today she has not called/spent any time with him. I say with the holiday being less than a week away, and her not spending any time with him, I shouldnt allow him to go. The last time (Oct. 14) she took him for a visit he cried the entire time. Keep in mind, this is the same grandmother that has spent less than 15 hours with him since the middle of Aug. There was no visitation ordered through the courts and the mother has not tried to see him or called.
Your thoughts on this subject is greatly appreciated.
Your thoughts on this subject is greatly appreciated.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I to am having a problem with Ri's mom wanting her Thanksgiving, which we already have plans, so she is asking for the day before. Ri cried last night when it was time to go for the weekend, so how do I send her for an extra day,knowing she doesn't even want to go for her normal weekend. She is 7, so I tried to explain that this is something I have to do is send her. She ask why her brother just couldn't come to our house and then said if you go back to court can you please tell the judge I don't want to go to their house, at least not to spend the night.
So please if you have nothing on paper don't send him, I don't have a choice, you do. Protect him at all cost.
I wish I felt like that was my right as her guardian to keep and protect as my own. But I don't. I would never allow one of my children to go to a house with windows broke out and nasty dirty old carpets and the smoking and drinking that goes on. It makes me so sick to have to send her there. ANd I worry about her the whole time she is gone.
If that grand mother wants to see him she needs to estabish a relationship with him first. I know to them it sounds like we are being mean and controling,but H....E...L...L....O!
I think you are right:)
EllaBlue
I would tell her "IF" she will do this several more times that maybe by Christmas he will be ready to go some place with her. SHe needs to bond with him. At Mc Donalds???? ANd evn at your home, notice if she just sits and wacthes him play while she chats with you over coffee etc.... SHe needs to read him books, sit down on the floor and play with him etc....
By bring her self down to his level he will see...she likes me and wants to actually spend time with me. But I wouldn't tell her to do that stuff, becasue if she doesn't know it at her age then she doesn't deserve to spend time a lone with him.
Is it her daughter or son that is his mom or dad?
Thanks for your words of wisdom!
When I first took my grandson to see a child psychologist, he bumped his head while playing in her office & immediately ran to me & climbed up on my lap crying. As soon as I hugged him & said he was fine, he jumped off & went back to playing. She said that was a very good sign, because he already turns to me for comfort & security. Before, he would've just sat on the floor & cried by himself. Children's actions are often very telling. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here though. Ya'll probably have more experience & expertise in this matter than I do. :)
I think these situations are SO much harder simply because these babies we love & care for are from our children, and our children have let their babies down & it's hard to deal with. I've trying to deal with that & not be angry or resentful towards my daughter & most of my family is good now. My mother though hates my s/d I think. She thinks she should have no rights, and she shouldn't be allowed with the kids at all. My FIL loves the babies, but not as much as the other babies in the family, I think. It's not about the babies though, he always felt that my husband's first wife, and her 2 daughters, ruined things for his son. He has a lot of anger towards my daughter & her mother, so he isn't quite as close to the babies. I believe when we adopt the baby girl though, things will improve. I think.
Things have improved though. We told our daughter we loved her no matter what she did; we didn't like her actions, but we loved her & always would. I think hearing that from both of us really was a turning point in our relationship. She had been afraid to tell us she was pg the 2nd time, b/c she didn't want to disappoint daddy, etc. Now she's honest & open, I think, and that helps everything. When she left the house last night, I told her I loved her, and as she walked out the door she said "I love you too Shelli", and the tone in her voice when she said it was different than any other time. Usually it's just a casual, yeah love ya too. Never used my name, and most times didn't quite sound sincere. Things are improving for her, I hope.