
Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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We had several new couples come into eat today do to a article in the newspaper.
One of the couples was telling me about all there travels, they had just got back from AZ. and now were getting ready to go some place else.
By this time they had learnt about me and my family and Ri and knew she lived with us.
Anyway I started thinking back to my hubby and My plans for when we got this age. We wanted to travel see the world and it dawned on me we will not get to do this now. Our plans for 30 years are now no longer a dream.
That makes me so sad as I remember us being 19 and 20 years old making our plans...dreaming.
They sujested home schooling her and traveling anyway.
Well with mom's visits and now that lawyers have broke us and we live from moment to moment I know it is no longer an obtion and I guess for the first time in 3 years it hit me for the next 10 years we are going have to stay right here. I would love to move to the state my daughter and family lives in. I miss them all so very much.
We all have given up so much and it is not for a few days months it is for many years our lifes are on hold and then even after they are grown...what then.....
One of the couples was telling me about all there travels, they had just got back from AZ. and now were getting ready to go some place else.
By this time they had learnt about me and my family and Ri and knew she lived with us.
Anyway I started thinking back to my hubby and My plans for when we got this age. We wanted to travel see the world and it dawned on me we will not get to do this now. Our plans for 30 years are now no longer a dream.
That makes me so sad as I remember us being 19 and 20 years old making our plans...dreaming.
They sujested home schooling her and traveling anyway.
Well with mom's visits and now that lawyers have broke us and we live from moment to moment I know it is no longer an obtion and I guess for the first time in 3 years it hit me for the next 10 years we are going have to stay right here. I would love to move to the state my daughter and family lives in. I miss them all so very much.
We all have given up so much and it is not for a few days months it is for many years our lifes are on hold and then even after they are grown...what then.....
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I know what you mean my family is spread all over. It's hard because I don't have the support I wish I had if family was closer.But my dream is to one day live in Texas. And I wil keep dreaming.
My dream vacation is a beach house for two weeks with a deck that I can out and have my coffee in the morning.
I have never seen the ocean.
I will never stop dreaming.
This beautiful little girl last night made me a card. It said....
My mema saved me, she prays for me that I don't have bad dreams. She is a wonderful mema.
There was more just not sure what it said????
We was traveling and LOVED every moment of it. I had lots of health problems that would bring us back for doc appts but when she went so nuts we stayed around and ended up with all four, then the two we have now. I just don't deal well with my health and raising kids and I love them dearly. It makes me feel quilty! I can't find a good therapist for the kids that will deal with their past and that is what they need. The little guy, my sunshine boy has had one flash back and thought we had been mean to him and locked him in his room. It was AWFUL ! ! My Granddughter told him NO,it wasn't gran gran and PaPa it was Moma that did that to him. What is going to happen to this little boy tha thas all this inside of him. We worry that he could be the kind of child that does harm to someone else as he gets older if he doesn't get this out, no matter what kind of home life he has now!
I can't stand the sight of my own daughter, She hasn't changed and it's been over three years ! The court system stinks in this county.
Don't feel bad towards me but I'm ready to give them to the state. I don't think we can do this! I should have stayed out of this in the beginning and just visted them often. There is people that think maybe next week when we go to court for more visitation that she will get them back but if not in Jan. She will NEVER be able to handle the four kids and the granddaugher we have doesn't want to go back to her. Her father doesn't want her in Koreo, her other grandparents will see her all of thanksgiving week but never say anything about taking her and the little guy has no one but us and my ex-husband and he knows he can't raise them.
I know my health isn't going good and the doc, my heart doc would tell me, NO MORE but I don't know what to do anymore than you. I pray everyday for answers and don't get one, I ask myself if I can live with the quilt if I let them go, will they hate us, will they go somewhere were the abuse good be worse than with their Mom, I have lots of thoughts and I go to bed with this on my mind and wake with it on my mind.
Things go good for a few days and then the kids both seem to go off at the same time. It's very very hard and like you, I want my live back and a chance to live so I will be around to be a grandparent to all 12 of my Grandkids. I never see 8 of them because we don't have the time doing what we are doing. I need answers just like you.....someone help us!
When Ri first started going back to her mom's it casues tons of flash backs. She spoke of it often. ANd the one time she picked my belt up and started hitting the chair really hard and said this is how my mommy use to hit me with a belt. I could see the anger coming out as she was hitting the chair. I went to my knees and reached for her, sat her on my lap and I started crying and told her how sorry I was that mommy had done that to her and how sorry I was that she still rmembered it and that hopefully mommy would never touch her again. Ri was also locked in rooms, left in cars taken to meth houses (Labs).
I am fine with raising Ri. My problem is not with her it's the family she goes to visit the tings they say to her.
You said you pray all the time but not getting the answer, maybe you are getting it and your not listening, or it is so point blank you are over looking it.
If your daughter is asking for visits not them back she isn't going to get hem back but she may get visits unless you have some info she doesn't need them. But she will get something if it is supervised. But be prepared for more struggles when they come back from her. That is when are problems started. I have worked with her dealing with anger issues when she comes back, abd that has improved but the things they say against us and telling her to do bad in school etc....
Let your answer from God be whatever the court decides. Pray for this and it will be your answer.
Can you give us some insight on all of that.
You have two little one's and I am sure you can't imagion loving anyhting more then those two. I always thought that away. Until I had grand baby's. Your love just doubles. Some of it could be that we feel so protective towards the one's we are raising since they have been put through so much.
I wish I had you and several others to speak in court on what you wrote.
I have wondered if judges ever hear from the children after they are grown thanking them etc...
That might be something to do. I know I wrote all my teachers a few years ago that I thought so much of and let them know they made a impact on me.
It was just this day I was speaking about that I realized our plans would be on hold for many years if then at all. Had never gave it much thought.
If she stays with us this is something she would love doing also. There is always home schooling. She loves traveling.
AS I have said before life is a journel and what a wonderful one it's been so far.