Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
I just learned that JJ, my 1 1/2 yo grandson, may return to his dad as early as Thanksgiving.
I have very mixed feelings.
It will be nice to be able to concentrate once again on my teenager. She has become quite rebellious and has had a very hard time of JJ taking my attention. She was, after all, the "baby" before him. She had never adjusted well to JJ being here.
It will be nice to get a full nite's sleep again!
It will be nice to attend evening functions again!
But I am the only mother JJ remembers, and I feel tthey are pulling him away from me too fast for JJ's good. To just take him and move him to his dad's is going to be quite a trauma to an almost 2 yo. It'll be like his mother died, to him.
I know my son, and JJ will very seldom get to see me. Last time it was 3 months. Then I got him back. lol.
I have spoken to the social worker regarding this, but because they have no way to work out the day care, etc, for part time it has to be all or nothing.
*sigh*
I guess I'm just looking for some hugs and support at this time. It's going to be rough for me, not knowing how JJ is doing and not being there for him.
I have very mixed feelings.
It will be nice to be able to concentrate once again on my teenager. She has become quite rebellious and has had a very hard time of JJ taking my attention. She was, after all, the "baby" before him. She had never adjusted well to JJ being here.
It will be nice to get a full nite's sleep again!
It will be nice to attend evening functions again!
But I am the only mother JJ remembers, and I feel tthey are pulling him away from me too fast for JJ's good. To just take him and move him to his dad's is going to be quite a trauma to an almost 2 yo. It'll be like his mother died, to him.
I know my son, and JJ will very seldom get to see me. Last time it was 3 months. Then I got him back. lol.
I have spoken to the social worker regarding this, but because they have no way to work out the day care, etc, for part time it has to be all or nothing.
*sigh*
I guess I'm just looking for some hugs and support at this time. It's going to be rough for me, not knowing how JJ is doing and not being there for him.
deleted_user
here is all my ((((((((HUGS)))))))) for you, you are in my thoughts and prayers, I am here for you,,,,,God Bless you and help you through this chalenging time,,,,,,,love ya
deleted_user
me to. Surely the judge will make sure you are still a big part of his life, won't he????
scgramma
How often does his Dad see him now, is he very far away? The more little visitations that could be squeezed in between now and then, will really help the transition. I was able to have my grandson for visits twice a week before I got him back and it seems to have helped him form a bond to us in addition to his previous caregiver/foster mother. Also I had read some articles on adopted toddlers and they recommend making sure he carries his favorite toys, blanket or other lovey to help with the transition. Favorite snacks and such help too. Will you not be able to visit at all?
deleted_user
I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. When my greatgrandsons first got into the system I refused to be a foster parent to them. I lived two states away and knew that I could not go through losing them after becoming attached. When the chance to adopt came up I grabbed them as soon as I could. The adoption should be final in a few months. People are always telling me how unselfish I am for taking the boys but I was very selfish. I could not have done what you are doing. I believe that you have to have a special kind of love to give it freely as you have done knowing that you might lose that love. It is ashame what the system is doing to these children - you are the only stability this child has known - there has to be a way for you to remain in his life for his sake. I so admire you and will remember you in my prayers
deleted_user
reading this brought tears to my eyes...just knowing that each of us could be faced someday with what you are experiencing, its heart breaking. I do hope that you will be able to see your grandson more often than you think...you are in my thoughts-BIG HUGS!!!
deleted_user
I'm so sorry to hear of the pain you're going through. Why is the dad getting the child back? Did you have custody of the child or was there any kind of legal agreement between the 2 of you? I couldn't imagine being without my little grandson. He has become such a big part of my life and I never want to loose him. I'll be praying that everything works out for you and your family.
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