
Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

deleted_user
i have had my grandson for almost 7 years. his mother is the gf of my son and is a alcoholic and a felon for child abuse. not my grandaughter, but his half sister. well the questions are starting now from my grandson and i try to explain but am having a hard time. i have told him that his mother, that is what he calls her, is his mom and he can call her that if he wants. he said no, that i am his mom. he knows that i am his grandmother. i do not run down his mother at all, actually we are friendly with her as she has lived with my son for 14 years and really have no other choice. she is included in all family functions. how do i explain to my grandson about his alcoholic mother, she is drunk every night, and how to explain why he is living here and not with his dad! there is more to this but that is all i can put down today. thank you for your help, i need it right now as i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and say the wrong thing.
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She feels we are mean to her parents and wants to live with them. Daddy lives with his girlfriend (mommy's best friend) and their two boys. Mommy is somewhere on the streets doing drugs and Heaven only knows what. She has been in and out of jail. My step-son and daughter-in-law are not divorced even though he has been with this other bimbo over 9 years!! The oldest one jokes when she plays Monopoly and lands "in jail" that she is visiting her mom in jail!!
We will not know for years yet that telling the girls what we have about their parents has done to the girls.
Good Luck. God Bless.
Our grand daughter's mom told her older sibling that we were trying to say she was sick and take Ri so she might have to go to a hospital. Anyway her sibling then told Ri this. She would ask differnt questions about a year later. She had learnt about drugs, drinking etc in school. So I explain about her mom and dad very lightly and it wasn't a suprise to her at all. She actually started telling us stuff we did not know. But it was like she had to keep all of it a sceret and when I was honest with her it was like she could finally let it all out. It was really strange.
We to never put her mom down. During the times she would not show up for visits I remember Ri asking doesn't my mommy love me????? It broke our heart. And we would re assure her that mommy loved her very much.
It is hard to speak positive about her but we have always done it, because it would only harm Ri in the long run. And no matter what you say as children they are going to love there mommy.
But raisingan... you are wrong. You are his parents maybe not his mom and dad but you are his parents.
This came from a very smart girl when she was 3.
My husband was playing with her on the floor. He was working with her on Aunts, Uncles parents. When it got to parents she named us, he said no honey your parents are mom and dad. She said no
Now in court they tried to say we did, (speak badly of them to her)but my concoiuses is clean there.After that horrible 10 hour day in court it took all I had not to for a week or so. But I can stand proud it never happen and it will never happen.
Yep someday we will have to explain all this to her. My plan is to have a child mental health worker help us tell her in a way that will help her to understand about her real Mother. I do not want this child to EVER feel that she is or was not loved or wanted. She has always been loved and wanted by many people and always will.
I grew up in foster homes and I know that horrible feeling that a child has when she feels it is her fault that her Mom did not want her. Oh yeah, they all told me that my Mom was sick and that she made poor choices. I still felt like I was not good enough. The one thing I always wished for as a child was a home. A long term home where I could have parents and someone who really loved me. My grandaughter will never have to go through that because she is home and she does have a "Mom" that loves her. ME!
I guess each to his own. I have a lot of different feelings on this because of being in foster homes and tossed around. I loved my real Mother very much but still wished I could have had a real home and real parents to grow up with.
Good luck to all of you who are raising family and/or grandchildren. Our babies are very fortunate to have us.
Thanks for letting me air my opinion.