Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.
Ok I know all of us grandparents who are raising their children are doing so for all kinds of reasons. My story begins when my daughters runs off and gets married to a man she doesn't know but he turned out to be a ok man, she leaves her oldest child here with the father and takes the daughter and tells all that that is not her daughter, eventually all find out that this is her daughter. (they forgive her) everything is okay she has another child in meantime with her husband.
Myself and husband visit her and think that maybe she's going to be alright.HA, she leaves her husband, her 2 year old son 4 year old daughter and 6 year old son. The husband only wants his child so the two older children are left over someones house with whose knows who. My husband flys out to pick them up and we have had them since. We know longer know where the youngest is who is now 7 years old. She claims she sees him but I know this is not true. She doesn't even call her children that I have now I know she has some sort of problem either drugs or mental issues and I understand that she can't raise them, but I feel angry that she has ruin her childrens lives, AND also Me and her fathers. She doesn't even call her children or us for that matter. Everynow and then she will text via cellphone. She calls no one here not her grandparents or brother. She cares for no one in her past. This also hurts me, I don't know what to do. I'm depressed and I can hardly give the children what they need. I raised my children, they had parties extra activities and friends over I just can't do the extra stuff anymore. I feel bad for my grandchildren and missed the other child that i have no clue of his wherebouts. I have even asked my daughter to please just come home and help a week or two. Am I wrong for this request? Her excuse is that she is getting herself together, that has been 5 yeear. She I continue to text her and ask or just leave her alone and let her live her life. Did I mention that I am under Dr's care for Depression, Diabetes,recent Gastric by-pass
Myself and husband visit her and think that maybe she's going to be alright.HA, she leaves her husband, her 2 year old son 4 year old daughter and 6 year old son. The husband only wants his child so the two older children are left over someones house with whose knows who. My husband flys out to pick them up and we have had them since. We know longer know where the youngest is who is now 7 years old. She claims she sees him but I know this is not true. She doesn't even call her children that I have now I know she has some sort of problem either drugs or mental issues and I understand that she can't raise them, but I feel angry that she has ruin her childrens lives, AND also Me and her fathers. She doesn't even call her children or us for that matter. Everynow and then she will text via cellphone. She calls no one here not her grandparents or brother. She cares for no one in her past. This also hurts me, I don't know what to do. I'm depressed and I can hardly give the children what they need. I raised my children, they had parties extra activities and friends over I just can't do the extra stuff anymore. I feel bad for my grandchildren and missed the other child that i have no clue of his wherebouts. I have even asked my daughter to please just come home and help a week or two. Am I wrong for this request? Her excuse is that she is getting herself together, that has been 5 yeear. She I continue to text her and ask or just leave her alone and let her live her life. Did I mention that I am under Dr's care for Depression, Diabetes,recent Gastric by-pass
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Your best thing is except the fact that you are raising them and except the fact your daughter for now will not be a part of your life or there's. BUT that is a blessing for the children, because when they are in the lifes of the children and not ready to truely straighten up they mess with the kids heads. They don't want them, but they do not want anyone else to either, so they work very hard to destroy the kids and also any reationship they have with anyone. please count your blessings you don't have to deal with an area some of us have to.
Lots of us have health problems and then dealing with all the feelings school again, parties again, etc....
I am at a point into it for 3 years now...excepted it all, it is who I am now, I am no longer her grand mom, I am her mom period.
Your story is like all of ours and your feeling are also. We all pray for each other and listen and offer advice. We can do this....after all we are women...we are stronger then we give ourself credit for.
Well here it goes. I am 39 this December. I am a stepgrandmother of 3. 2 of these grandchildren now live with me. I took them away through many court battles and a huge amount of money and emotional loss. 3 years later I am at a crossroad. These children and I love them dearly, not only have many medical problems that were never addressed, such as epilepsy, astham, ODD ADD etc. until I brought them home but emotional issues I don't know how to fix. We have opened doors for them they never knew existed. BUT my family, my son, my husband and I are no longer connected. My son is a high risk suicide, on medication in therapy, my husband left me with the children ( he is back) and I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. As much as we want to help our grandchildren to what expense do we do this? How long do we let problems and difficulties that consume our lives to the point that OUR core family is falling apart.... We have decided it was time for extended family to step in and no one will. There are a lot of people that could take them, but these poor children are so high maintenance no one will. What do I do now? I hear your pain, I understand what you are saying. There has to be another answer. It isn't fair to the children and it isn't fair to us. ... Any one out there that can help? because like reewee I am lost.
With us the expense has been great. The court battles etc. I wish we could come up with a community in our coumintiys that was a support. SOme times just having a break for a day or two. But instead it feels like we are being punished for helping a child. Family services in this state and most states can help,in this state a grand aprent can not get any help period.
I am lost to help you, and it makes me sick that I can't offer any help. But there has to be something in this huge world that we are over lookng.