
Grandparents Raising Children Support Group
This community is dedicated to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. In cases where the parents are not willing or able to provide adequate care for their children, grandparents may take on the role of primary caregivers. Join the support group to find support, share your experience, and get advice from other members.

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How do I deal with the anger towards my daughter the mother of my one and only grandaughter? I joined this support group,I'm reading what others are going thru with their kids the "parents" of these children we are rasing.However my daughter doesn't have drug or alcohol problems, she just doesn't "want" to be a parent due to her own selfishness. I had 4 children,I rasied all but one on my own,doing whatever it took to raise them,being a father and a mother. It wasn't easy, but I wanted my children to be kids and not see the difficult part of life. However with all the challanges I have faced this is the most difficult "one of my children acts as if her own child is trash to be put out for collection". My husband and myself have pretty much put our "life" on hold to raise our grandaughter.No trips,no honeymoon,no date nights, basically no life being "grandparents" just"parents" of a 4 y.o. child. My day includes getting her up at 7am for headstart, driving her to the bus stop whatever the weather{I live in Alaska}getting her on the bus,driving home, rushing to get the things done I need to do in my short time,go back to pick her up from the bus...deal with behavior problems from school{everyday}then home again to finish our day to start all over again.My husband works in a remote area, his schedule is 6 weeks on 2 weeks home, so I am again rasing a child by myself for the most part. My anger in my daughters disreguard is eating me up inside,I don't even want to speak with her.Halloween really made me mad she lives close by and I had asked her to participate in taking her daughter trick or treating..She had no interest or "time" instead she went to the bar to hang out with "adults" I don't drink but would have welcomed a much needed break. Please help me, your suggestons are greatly needed.
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It is so rough. I miss the me time, but I am starting to get a little me time now.If your daughter simply just does not want to be a mom nobody can force it. The little girl is very blessed to have you and you her.
You had said she doesn't have drug or drinking problem, but I noticed she chose a bar over her child on Halloween night. Maybe she is having a problem with drinking and is just hiding it from you.
I heard the other day that it is to the point of 60% of Grand parents are raising there grand children. Just guessing but help is on the way. We just need to hold tight and stay strong for these baby's, we are all they have. You have my support.
Good luck!!
I have a similar situation. However the mother of the children I am raising is not my daughter. She is my boyfriends daughter. I know the anger I feel towards her for taking my life away from me. She actually gets anger when I bother her with the mundane task of being a mother. I cannot imagine if this were my own child. It has caused a severe rift in the relationship with man I had intended to marry. I just cannot imagine what would be more important than your own child. I really do feel your pain and anger. Please feel free to write anytime you want to get something off of your chest.
Your anger is understandable. How can people just give up on their on children. They were not raised like that. You show your daughter love,understanding and taught her right from wrong. But like my daughter they don't make the sacrafices we did when they were children. I am very angry at my daughter, she took my grandparent relationship and made me and my husband parents again, while she lives in another state and never visits or calls her children in 5 years. Frankly if she was on drugs or just crazy I could understand her actions.
Your anger is understandable. How can people just give up on their on children. They were not raised like that. You show your daughter love,understanding and taught her right from wrong. But like my daughter they don't make the sacrafices we did when they were children. I am very angry at my daughter, she took my grandparent relationship and made me and my husband parents again, while she lives in another state and never visits or calls her children in 5 years. Frankly if she was on drugs or just crazy I could understand her actions.
Thanks to all
Grandma Melody