Well my daughter is back with the X she called me Friday needing $120.00 by Saturday I ask her for what she told me she was 5 weeks pregnant and had an abortion scheduled for 7:30am I am pro life so I wasnt going to give her the money I told her not to have an abortion and I would take the baby she said she never wanted to have kids and I was not going to force her to have another what the ---- me force her to have another I never forced her to have the first I simply offered to take the baby if she didnt have an abortion the first time which Im so thankful she didnt have the abortion the first time however, she did have this one the BF gave her the money and she had an abortion Saturday I feel so guilty as bad as I hate what she did I feel it was probably what was best for the unborn child as least it is now in a good place with out any defects or worries she takes three meds for bi-polar disorder and drinks A LOT on a regular basics so God please for give me for thinking that way I still cant help but wonder would it have been a girl or a boy what would he/she look like what could we have named it I hate I never got to hold it and tell it I was its Granna and how much I loved it and I do I know it was so young but it was an innocent little thing that never did anything to anybody and didnt even ask to be conceived just wanted a chance to become a part of our life I feel so sad about it and the bad thing it doesnt seem to have bothered her a bit I know this sounds silly to most of you but when I think about it I can see her in my mind I feel like it would have been a girl and it breaks my heart to know I will never know her
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